Rain/Sunshine/Rain/Rain/Sunshine/Rain-NEW SHOES

I think Mother Nature must have a big wheel she is spinning and she seems to be falling on the rain slot an awful lot lately and seems like today is the day for sunshine but rain in the forecast for Thursday and Friday.

Now I don't know about you but when it's cloudy and dark and wet outside, my body seems to go in survival mode and wants to conserve energy rather than expel it.  But this is week two in the C25k challenge and I need to get week 2, day one done TODAY.  Yes I know it's Wednesday, and I really have no excuse for not doing it yesterday except for I lost my motivation, I had it yesterday when I woke up and had grand plans for after work when I got home but after a long day at work and coming home to do the dishes that didn't get done and cleaned the bathroom that somehow got dirty all by itself, and changed the litter box that should have been changed 2 days ago and made my bed and fixed dinner and then did dishes again, I somehow lost my motivation to put on my shoes and do my run, by the time I got all that done, I was just happy to sit and do NOTHING.  But this morning I read all the blogs of the ladies doing the same challenge and I was inspired and a bit disappointed in myself.  I had put everyone else in front of me again.  Was 30 minutes too much to ask for....NO!  But the person that said NO to me was the person I see in the mirror every morning.  Boy she is a pill sometimes, lovable, yes, funny, definitely, but she needs to put on her big girl pants and say NO to the dishes, the bathroom, the litter box (ok maybe not the litter box, because the poor cat can't change it and he shouldn't have to suffer).  Sometimes I lock my thoughts up inside my head (and believe me it's plenty crowded in there) and sometimes I have on very dark sunglasses so to see the bright in the darkness is hard.  Yesterday was that day.  But I woke up this morning and I had missed a text from my friend Amanda from earlier last evening because the minute I came home I shut off my phone and unplugged, but seeing her text this morning snapped me out of my fog.  I am a social butterfly, oh who am I kidding, I'm a social kangaroo (bigger, louder and much bouncier) and with no classes to go to, I lose some of my bounce.

But I'm getting new bounce in the form of NEW SHOES, I have a shoe fitting on Thursday night and I couldn't be more excited in getting fitted for shoes that will help me.  My shoes now, which have many miles on them and may be the reason my ankles and feet hurt after I walk/run, are ready to become the next stage of shoedom at my house---mowing shoes/4-wheeling shoes.  This is the end of the life cycle for my shoes and then they get to go to the Big Shoe Store in the sky.

I'm a mom and I very seldom, more closely to never, buy myself something I want.  I always think the money could be better spent on something one of my children or husband need.  I even come very close to buying something and have actually been standing in line at the cash register and then that "Mom Voice" in the back my head takes me over and I end up putting what I grabbed back, and being a mom I put it back where I found it, not on the shelf next to the register.

BUT THIS TIME, I'M GETTING MY SHOES!  And I'm almost giddy from the anticipation of getting a pair that is going to help me.

I saw this quote and even though I stumble, I really am trying and trying the healthy and right way.  And that is the way I'm sticking with.

I just have to keep trying, even if I have to start over every single day and have to forgive myself for a bad day (like yesterday), but it takes courage and strength to make a change a permanent thing.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

So every day you can either give it 100% or you can just give up and call it quits.   I didn't run, but my dishes are done, my bathroom is cleaner, my bed is (was) made, my family was fed and the kitchen was cleaned up again, and my cat is much happier with a clean litter box.  So my house is a bit cleaner and I did break a sweat doing all of these things.  Were they the thing I had planned to do?  NO.  

Which brings me to my second quote

So God got a grand chuckle yesterday, but he didn't give me anything I couldn't handle and the dishes did need to be washed, the family fed, the bathroom cleaned and the litter box changed.  These were all things that needed to be done, and they got done, did I plan on doing them, NO NOT REALLY, but when I woke up this morning to a clean kitchen and bathroom, I was a little bit satisfied with myself that I did it last night.  So you never know what will happen, you just have to keep the faith and if you are lucky enough as I was this morning you figure out that just because you didn't plan it doesn't mean it was "worth" any less, it was just "different" that what you had originally pictured!

So enjoy the sunshine while it's here everyone.  

Have a PEACHY DAY!

C25K = OMG LMAO

OK I really would like to think I look like an olympic runner when I run, I'm am so sure that I am so far from that image that it makes me laugh out loud. The fact when I look at my feet it seems like at times I am barely bringing them off the ground. But I'm not out there to impress others or give the impression to others that I'm a professional runner, exactly the opposite.  I'm out there to prove TO MYSELF that every step I take, whether it be at a run, jog, walk or crawl is one step to a better ME.  But I do laugh to myself because in my strange and demented mind, I pretend, especially towards that end of my run, that I have people in the stand cheering me on and that there is a big red ribbon strung across the road just begging me to break through it and ready for my photo finish. I even put my hands in the air and do a small victory dance on the way home. See I told you I had a very vivid imagination.
Only downside is since starting by C25K, I notice after I run my ankles get terribly swollen and my achilles tendons are sore.  Luckily I am able to get a shoe fitting next week with my divas at Browns Shoes in Fort Dodge to hopefully get a pair of shoes that will help me in my strife.

Maybe because my poor ankles at this moment have to try to haul a large amount of weight in a fast pace than they are used to that they are rebelling.  So have only been able to do the run every other day, but on the end of Week 1 today and feel pretty good about it even though I get discourage that my body is fighting me on this.  But I just remember as long as I'm not ON THE COUCH, and I'm moving then I am moving forward.

Got an amazing pick me up the other day.  My Fusion/C25K class is doing shoe fittings and we could sign up for two nights.  Me being impatient and desperate for help in getting the correct pair of shoes shoes signed up for the first night and someone from class IM'd me and said that they really wanted me to come to the second fitting because they missed me and wanted to see me!  That was the cherry on my week.  So I'm going to both just to see my girls!  And maybe if my checkbook allows, a second pair of shoes!!!!

As I've said before it only take a small gesture or a kind word to make your day and that made my week, heck made my month.  So thank you Miss Lisa for taking the time out of your day to make me feel amazing and wanted.

So my QUOTE OF THE DAY!

I don't know about you, but I always start a diet, a workout plan, or basically anything on Monday, at least that is my intention, but imagine if I started now.  How many of us save that special perfume for good occasions or only wear that beautiful piece of jewelry one day a year.  I say break open the perfume and wear that jewelry.  Sometimes you have to let go of your fears, and live in the now.  I use the "Will it matter in a week, will it matter in a year?"  Most the time the answer is NO.  You move forward and you give yourself a "Life Pass" because guess what I'm human and make mistakes, but when I learn from my mistake, that makes me a better person.  I am far from perfect, but I'm hopefully not far from being a good person.  I am definitely an "out of the box" person, but that's what makes me the me I am.

So before the gloom of rain decides to water down our weekend, enjoy the beautiful sunshine and remember all those servicepersons who have given their greatest gift so that we can have what we have.

Happy Memorial Weekend!

Day 58-PARTY PREP or BUST

I have decided there are not enough hours in a day.  I apparently need another 8 or 9 hours a day in order to get all my grad party stuff done IN TIME for the party.  Tonight I will be missing Fusion due to the fact that I have a small window of time to get stuff done.  Tomorrow my home is cupcake central and Friday is the big party day.

I have to admit, that people I didn't know a year ago could have such an impact on my world.  When I have a valley day, they are my biggest "you rock girl" supporters.  When I need a distraction or just need a smile, they are willing to give their time and their help. For this I am grateful.

I'm over my "dressing room pity party" and promise not to try on clothes without seeking a friendly second opinion to keep my mind in the "happy" and help distract me from taking that path to "Bodyshameville".  So know I know, for me, shopping for clothes is like weightlifting, you don't do it without a spotter!

I saw this and I had to post it today of all days.  I love the little frog and to be honest, I prefer to stay in the funny.

And I think they are referring to every day knickers, not work out knickers.  

(Ladies who go to Piloxing will totally understand the difference!)

So one of the fantastic ladies that goes to Piloxing Fusion posted my quote of the day and I asked her if she minded if I used it for my blog.  She graciously said yes.  So a HUGE THANK YOU to Jill N. for the quote find.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

So my spark may have been dulled at the beginning of the week, but through all of you who have encouraged me, sent me videos, my beautiful daughter for being herself and to my friends who reminded me that we all have the same insecurities they may differ in levels but all in all, us girls, are always are own worst critics.  Statler and Waldorf were being overly critical in my mind. (In case you didn't know Statler and Waldorf are the old men from "The Muppet Show" that sat in the balcony and critiqued the show.  Here's a pic of them for those that are a bit lax in your Muppet knowledge.

So it's Wednesday and with the help of a glue gun, some duct tape, lots of butter and flour and sugar galore, a little spark will turn into a mighty bonfire and I WILL GET EVERYTHING DONE FOR THIS PARTY!  By Saturday I do believe I will be officially spent and will not be accepting any outside contacts until at least 9:00 a.m.  Because I'm not going to waste a perfectly good Saturday!

As my grandmother always said, "Keep you chin up and level to the ground, that way the world can see your beautiful face!"  I may have to needlepoint that on a pillow so I have a daily reminder that even though I don't "fit" into a certain piece of clothing, that in no way diminishes me.  I have Value! I am a pretty terrific person!  Not to brag, but I think I'm pretty likable!  Perhaps I'm not supposed to fit into a particular box, but maybe, just maybe, I'm supposed to pop out of that box like Jack (get it, Jack in the box, ok, not my best pun!)

So though the sun has decided to nap and I would have killed (ok not killed, but mamed) in order to get another 30 minutes of sleep this morning, There are things to be done and I want my son to have a great party and if I have to drop from exhaustion and be covered in flour and cookie dough then so be it.

Each one of us has VALUE!  We may forget this occasionally, but if you're lucky like me (which if I know you, then you are lucky, because I've got your back), you have people who will take a moment out of their day to remind you of that fact!

So unless you see a Bat Signal in the air, I am off and running!

Happy trails to you!  Until we meet again!  Keep smiling until then!  Who cares about the clouds when we are together!  Just sing a song and think of sunny weather.  Happy trails to you, til we meet again!

Day 57-Tears in a Dressing Room

Ok the weekend went well.  Did prom pics in Eagle Grove and the kids were a hoot.  Got a portion of grad party shopping done and even went to the movies with my son, Spencer, and saw the latest Avengers kick butt.

So I took Monday off in an attempt to get a handle on the final shopping for the grad party this Friday.  I was pretty pumped about having a whole day to get things done, by myself, and I was also stoked because it was "A Funeral For Your Fat" Night at Piloxing Fusion that evening.

I knew it was going to be a happy day when I put on my jean shorts from last summer and they were a bit loose and I didn't have to suck in my gut to button them.  I was like "Hell Yeah, that's right, a lot of sweat and you can put your pants on without the help of industrial pliers) I got the boys off to school and once I filled up with gas in the car I was off.  Bob and Tom were keeping me company and making me smile in my car as they always do.  I decided to hit the mall first.  I had a graduation gift to get and figured while I was in there I would pick up a new top for the grad party.

Gift shopping was a breeze and the salesgirl was a doll.  So after window shopping a few stores I went into one and after explaining to the salesperson that picking out clothes wasn't necessary a strength of mine but I really just wanted a spring/summer top for my son's grad party, she was extremely kind and picked out some things to try on.  They looked pretty on the hanger, and in my mind I pictured how cute I would look in them.  Now I'm not one to show emotion in front of strangers, and I usually can keep it bottled pretty well until I can get somewhere alone but after trying on top after top and combination of tops, my mood went from happy to discouraged then to disappointment.  Not disappointment in the salesgirl, but in myself for letting myself get to the shape I'm in.  Even though I have been doing so much better in the last 57 days than I have in years (exercising regularly, eating so much better and drinking an ocean of water), lets just say at that moment I was not seeing the results of my hard work.  In fact, I got so choked up and upset that before I knew it, I had tears in my eyes and a tightness in my throat.  I tried to calm myself down before coming out of the dressing room (I picked nothing) and trying so quickly to leave the store but the salesgirl caught me to ask me how it was going and with tears down my face (which were flowing uncontrollably)  I just said that maybe today wasn't the best to shop and I barely was able to get that out to her.  She smiled and was very understanding but I had to sit on a bench in the middle of the mall and try to calm myself down.  As I was walking out of the store, my daughter called and was giving me an update of her day and from my tone she asked what was wrong and I said I hate shopping for clothes.  It looks great on the hanger, unfortunately not that great on me.  My daughter exclaimed that I was beautiful and that she would take me shopping and we would find something great.  But while sitting on that bench in the mall, those walking by probably thought I'd gotten a phone call that my cat died.  Let's just say the rest of the day my mind was kicking itself saying how could I let this happen.  Now I really do think that mirrors in dressing rooms are a bit evil but then again maybe they are not really evil but honest.  I didn't put this weight all on in 57 days and it is going to take more than 57 days to take it off, but would it be too much to ask to be able to "see" a bit of difference.

So by the time I finished shopping and got home and loaded everything it was time to go to Fusion. Now I'm not one to share my woes but my friend was having a rotten day  and at that moment all I wanted to do was support her in her not so great day. My little mind trick on myself while standing in a dressing room alone was nothing compared to the day she had.

Sometimes you need an outside source and a little perspective to snap yourself out of your pity party or funk.  That was mine.  My friend was upset and I all wanted to do was be there for her, even if it was only to listen and let her vent.  That made ME feel better.

So I got a wonderful surprise on my desk this morning from my AMAZING daughter. Made me SMILE and tear up at what I great kid I raised!!!!

So here it is another day.  Yesterday was a big hill and valley day, it would say it started out as an adventure but turned into a major challenge.  Maybe Aunt Tilly is coming to visit, or maybe getting ready for a grad party basically by myself (my poor hubby is stuck in Spring Seed world and is just as tired as I am except he has to haul around heavy bags of seed) So Spring planting and graduation do not mix well.  I know I put large expectations upon myself and this is something I'm working on but is one of my greatest challenges.

So this was my Quotes of the Day for Yesterday:

Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation.

EXPECTING is my favorite crime and

DISAPPOINTMENT is always my punishment

But today's quote is giving me hope!

So to stumble into a deep valley of self pity is not something I recommend but it is something I know to well.  But all it took was a friend in need and I snapped out of it.  Those I care for mean more to me than my pity party and for those I care for I am eternally grateful for them.  For without them, I wouldn't be able to see the light and would remain in the dark.

I had to share this, I had to write this down to show my journey.  For when I look back at this post, I WANT to remember how I felt, but most of all I want to show to myself how far I have come and how even the tiniest of steps forward is just that A STEP FORWARD.

Thank you for reading and for keeping me accountable.  May your Tuesday be filled with margaritas and tacos and perhaps a siesta.  Happy Cinco de Mayo!  For today is a day to be thankful for. As my boss and I always say to each other each morning, it's a good day any day you wake up and you are still breathing!

So onward and upward my friends.  "Stay Classy" as Ron Burgundy would say!

DAY 53-Twitterpated! & Happy May Day

Ok, everyone give a BIG SHOUT OUT for today is FRIDAY!  I personally have a billion things to do, get shopping down for grad party, take pics at the Eagle Grove Prom and clean my house and somewhere in there get a work out or walk in and then of course maybe I'll get a few hours of sleep, but let's not get to overscheduled.

Even though I really sincerely do have an overscheduling problem especially for the next week until the grad party on Friday and I have some dear friends that have offered and volunteered to take some of my tasks and do them for me, I'm happy inside.

Now if you know me and even if you don't, I'm not one to be seen on the exterior as anything but happy.  But may not feel on the inside what I show on the outside.  But my heart feels lighter lately and I feel happy and encouraged.

Don't get me wrong, there are times in my day where work may not be all roses and candy and my children, especially my senior, seems to think his mom has no idea what she is talking about and heaven forbid he do what I ask, when I ask.  But maybe I have been twitterpated by the spring.

Do you know what twitterpated is?  It's from Bambi and here's a fun explanation.

As mentioned yesterday, I don't sleep well when my hubby is gone and he unfortunately was gone again last night which in turn means I didn't sleep much if at all, so maybe I'm just in a sleep deprived fog and you are the unlucky recipients of my verbal ranting.  But he will be home today so I guess maybe I am a bit twitterpated.  Pretty cool after 26 years and he still makes my heart flutter. (ok, ok, I know, that enough sweetness for today, you are going to get a toothache and I'm not going to accept any dental bills for reimbursement.)

So looks like some rain, or chances thereof, are in our future. So if I can't get out and walk and with working and running around this weekend I am going to try to practice my planking.  It's my least favorite thing next to burpees and I figure the more I practice, the better I will get at them and them maybe I won't have such a love/hate relationship with them.  I will tackle burpees soon, but today is not that day.

I definitely need to drink more water, when I don't sleep I seem to not drink as much water or anything else for that matter.  So my trusty water jug to the rescue.

Also today is, "Change My Look" Day, or otherwise known as, "Woman, you definitely need a haircut because it looks as if you left your broom in the alley" Day.

Here's what I trying for:

Same cut but a bit longer and with a bit or caramel highlight to lighten it up a little bit.  Doing this afternoon so will see how it goes.  I just want something different and it's just hair my dear friends, I can always do a Brittany Spears and shave it off and start again, then I would really know what my natural hair color was or is.

So my quote of the day is just a warm and fuzzy to get you through the weekend.  But remember to always use your powers for good and not evil (unless it envolves some sort of "50 Shades of Grey" between you and your significant other, then I say GO FOR IT and YOU GO GIRL!)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

This blog has given me hope, encouragement, accountability and it has introduced me to new people.  And with meeting new people, there is always the chance of a new friend or ally because I am what I am, not to go all Popeye on you but you know you are starting new friendships when you talk over shaving our legs, talking about our kids, eagering waiting for the "FINAL REST", or just smiling and laughing over something overly witty I might have said-ok that might be a bit of a stretch for overly witty, would you buy "I can't believe she said that out loud".  Yeah I thought that one was more realistic.)

So did you wave at someone at the stop light yesterday?  I did and I got a huge smile and wave back and I had NO IDEA whom I just waved to but I hoped I brought a little lightness to someone.  I also have a horrible tendency to rock out to my tunes in my vehicle and I was really into Rick Springsfield's "I've Done Everything For You" and was busted by some very nice older ladies going into Pizza Ranch for Ladies Night Out!  They smiled and waved and I do believe they were laughing with me, NOPE pretty sure they were laughing at me, but I'm sure I gave them a story to talk about over dinner.

So enjoy your Friday, do one fun thing this weekend, even if it is only to sleep in an extra 1/2 hour (I'm really going to try this one).

Have a peachy weekend everyone!  And next week is weigh in time for me.  I'm a bit scared and a bit curious as to how the scale will treat me, but hey it's just a number right!

Happy May Day!

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN:  53

DAYS TO GO:  16

DAY 50-LAST DAY FOR ZUMBA

Day 50 is a slightly sad day as it will be the end of Zumba for the season.  I so enjoy getting to laugh and giggle and "attempt" to wiggle like my instructor, Miriam, which of course as a person with little rhythm I don't do well but I do try.

Zumba was my first link to the outside world where I got to spend an hour just being me and being able to just have fun.  Me time is something I have never been good about since becoming a mom.  I always marveled at those mothers that would go away for long weekends or go to dinner during the week or join a bowling league.  I always felt I "had" to be home.

Well I've never been a very good bowler and always knew my little people would not be little for long.  Yes I sacrificed some time and yes my husband would have been more than encouraging for me to have more outside interests.  But as someone who went through divorce at 10 (and this was when it wasn't as common), lost my mom at 13 and grew up in a male household, I wanted my kids to have a mom that was there.  That was one of the reasons why I took a job with Lifetouch because I got summers off and all the school holidays.

Now before I get a ton a comments on how it was my own fault for not taking "me time" and I'm not putting anyone down. If what works for you works, by all means, if it ain't broke don't fix it.  But I've never been able to put myself first.  EVER!  For the longest time I cared too much about how other people felt and thought than myself.  Sometimes to my own demise.  But as you get older, you get wiser ( or maybe you just get too tired to participate in the drama and realize that the only person you have power over is you) But I count those blessings I have, a GREAT husband, wonderful kids (who seem to think it's their mission at times to see how patient I can be or whether or not I am wearing my invisibility cloak or waiting until that one brief second I close the bathroom door to ask me a question), I have a great job, heck I have two great jobs and I spend time with those that I know wish me only well.  I proved my brain works by getting my securities license (who knew it was still firing all those neurons)

But sometimes I do feel like:

So where was I going with all this... To be honest, I was just shooting off the cuff and wasn't really going anywhere with it.  To change course a bit:

A huge Happy Birthday goes out to my workout buddy and dear friend, who makes sure I show up for class, rain or shine:

AMANDA!

I HOPE YOUR BIRTHDAY IS AMAZING AND THE NEXT YEAR IS FILLED WITH LAUGHTER.  ALSO WE GET TO ZUMBA SO SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD WAY TO WORK OFF BIRTHDAY CAKE!  Also without my shyness, you would never get to have any "TMI" at Fusion and being able to smile while sweating and breathing hard!!!

The weather is getting nicer and it is harder to go into a building to workout, but without my new friends and workout divas, my weeks would be boring and filled with less laughter..

So 2 quotes today, why, just because.

QUOTES OF THE DAY

Balance is a tricky thing. Take your eyes off the horizon and sometimes you fall, but if you just keeping getting back on and riding, you will always move ahead.

(I know, pretty deep, right?  Sometimes I amaze myself at how Zen I can be, but then again, I feel like the picture above about the tequila and then all things get put back in perspective!)

Now I know I have an overinfestation of the terrible creatures and am working on getting the ZUMBA man or the Fusion Man (similiar to the Orken Man) to take care of these devilish creatures.

So a sweaty and fun filled evening of Zumba with the birthday girl and all my Zumba Divas, the 2 hours each week that I have gotten to spend with you has been enlightening to my soul and hopefully it has lightened my butt also.

And as anyone who has been in class with me knows, I'm a true soloist.  I believe that Miriam can attest to this, but I think Karla and I are Zumba soul mates!!!  Also I love that Miriam is a huge Pitbull fan, as am I (and not the dog breed, the singer/rapper who I just LOVE, who I have to say is kinda cute in a Mr. Clean kind of way lol)

So forward I go and tomorrow is a day be it adventure or challenge or just a big mell of a hess, I move therefore I am maintaining my balance!

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN:  50

DAYS TO GO:  19

Day 49-Workouts=Looking good naked!

Day 49
So got a round of golf in this weekend.  The weather was so nice if would have been a shame to stay inside, then came home and baked tester cupcakes for Graduation.  I haven't eaten one of them.  Relying on everyone else eating them to tell me if they are good or not.  After making them, I have no desire to eat them.

Fusion tonight and after this week only one week left of that.  Can't do the summer session due to concession stand but maybe I can get in just for the rest of May.  Would really miss seeing those ladies.

Motivation is at about a 15 out of 100.  I have grand plans at the beginning of the week but this day has definitely taken it's toll on me.  But Fusion will get me pumped back up, just have to get there first.

I've always been the tall girl or since I've gotten older, not the size 5 girl.  Never been in my DNA.  I am working on doing better but wish there was a magic pill or wand to bap me on the head and say, tadah you are know a size 5, go forth and prosper.

Unfortunately my weightloss fairy godmother must have lost her GPS system and is unable to locate me.  You would think that fairies would have better people detectors but hey with the advances in computers happening so quickly they are probably still on dialup for their internet.

So the task goes to me.  I wake up and I'm all gung ho and ready to go then I sit at my desk for 8 hours and my gung ho gets up and leaves me.  But I pep talk myself back into going to classes.  My knee is almost back to 100% as long as I wrap it before classes and don't try to overdo it.  It's nice not to be limping around anymore.

So to give you an idea of where my head is at, here's my quote of the day:

QUOTE OF THE DAY

I'm not saying that I want to be a supermodel when I look in the mirror but I'd like to look in the mirror and smile at what I see and not to go all blue on everyone, but when you are laying flat on a bed, yes your stomach looks flatter but put something round on a flat surface and it tends to W I D E N.  Unless you have a pillow top and then hopefully it sucks up all the stuff that is hiding behind you.

I don't own a full length mirror, which is probably why I'm slightly delusional as to how I look, when you only see yourself to the waist it is easy to live in la la land.

So exactly 20 days until Graduation and I need to step up my game, but my brain and my body seem to been having a difficult time relating to one another.  Every day I struggle, a bit here and a bit there, sometimes I win, sometimes I don't, but I figure as long as I keep trying then I cannot say I failed.

So enjoy the nice weather and hopefully if I get some fresh air and some sunshine my attitude will change for the better.  Rainy days and Mondays always get me down, the song goes but to be honest, finding a routine that works for me seems to be what is getting me down.  But there is always a tomorrow and that I can be forever grateful for.

Be well my friends

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN:  49

DAYS TO GO:  20

Day 46-only 20 days left on this Adventure or Challenge?

Day 46

Ok weighed myself and I went down 1 pound but that is my own fault for going off my path and reverting to my old ways a bit.  Notice if I don't have my gallon of water a day I'm just overly tired and have no energy.

I still have 20 days and 4 more pounds to hit my original goal but I would like to blast it out of the water by the end of the 20 days.  I just have to set my mind on go and make sure that my body follows.

So many changes happening in my little world that it is taking alot to process all the wonderful things that are changes and should change but it is taking a bit to get used to.  Having a daughter doing her own thing, a son graduating and soon starting college and my 6 foot 13 year old going to 8th grade and being my last one in public school.  I know I joke that I want all my children to move out and and pursue their dreams but it seems to be a lot of change all at once.  I am fortunate that my children seem to like to hang with us and they are around alot so it's not like I don't get to see them.  But every once in a while I get a little nostalgic and that's ok.  Change is a part of life and if I could just get my butt to be smaller, I would be forever happy with that particular change!!!

So prom this weekend for my son and doing a practice run of cupcakes for graduation.  So a full weekend ahead.  If the sun decides to peak out, my dear friend Amanda and I are going to try to get a walk in.

Ambition is a hard emotion to hang on to.  Some days I my cup runneth over with it and other days you would think that someone pokes a big hole in my cup and I couldn't gather enough ambition to cross the street.  Maybe I'm the only one that has this problem.  My friend Amanda and all the ladies I am lucky enough to meet at Zumba and Fusion help me on those days I have class, it's the days that I don't have class and especially the weekends were I over extend myself schedule wise and by the time I have a moment to myself, I opt for the nap or just sitting still for a minute rather than doing 100 squats.

I see all these stories on Advocare and facebook and Beach Body of all these people that have been able to change their lives and they look amazing.  Of course you don't get the day to day struggles that they had or exactly what they did, which I would love to know.  I'm a planner.  I like to have things organized AHEAD of time and follow that plan.  If I don't do that then I'm more or less sabatoging myself and even though I know this, sometimes the day gets away from me and I just want to hide under the covers.

But today is a new day and I'm the only one that can make the change.  I know I have great people who support me, but in the long run, it's really all up to me.  If I want my butt to get smaller, then I need to do more than I'm doing.  If I want to fit into a smaller pair of jeans, then it's up to me to say no to the cupcakes and even when I'm tired get up and do something, even if it's only for 10 to 15 minutes.  I love success stories and reading about how people changed their lives, I just really want to be one of them.  But I'm trying this healthy and doing the right way thing, rather than the fast and workout til I drop way I usually take, which works fast, but isn't very lasting.

So my quotes today reflect my mood:

QUOTES OF THE DAY

And this next one goes to Amanda, Savannah, Kathy, Shawna, Lisa R, Miriam, all the ladies at Zumba and Piloxing Fusion and to every person who every commented on FB or texted me encouragement.

Every day is a challenge and an adventure.  It's up to me to choose which one I want the day to become.  Some days you need to be challenged and other days you think you are ready for an adventure.  What will today be?  I'm shooting for adventure which a challenge here and there.

So have a great weekend everyone and I stay dry.

Remember,
You are Kind, You are Smart, and You are IMPORTANT, especially to me!!!

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN:  46

DAYS TO GO:  20

Weight Down:  16 lbs

Day 44-Exercise + Endorphins = Husbands that live longer

Day 44

Sorry about missing yesterday everyone, I was still tired from the weekend and barely made it through Zumba last night.  Miriam (my instructor) even gave us an extra 10 minutes of Zumba and no break for the full hour and 10 minutes which I thought I might fall over at one point due to the fact I was exhausted.  But it felt good to get my groove on even though my balance was way off.

It's cold again and I thought spring was here.  Guess someone forgot to tell Mother Nature.  Being tired in not great but add in the cold and I have a harder time staying on track.  Put in crockpot lasagna for supper, something hot and hearty for my boys for supper tonight.

I have Piloxing Fusion, which in my last post I said I was going to go, but I practically fell asleep driving home from work (which by the way is only about 3 1/2 blocks).  I was in bed by 7 and slept till 6:00 the next morning.

My knee seems to be getting stronger though I don't push it for fear of setting myself backwards. I received these pretty flowers for Administrative Professionals Day:

 And it's also EARTH DAY

So Happy Administrative Professionals Day and Happy Earth Day.  I have been struggling and when I see my friends at Fusion and Zumba, I always feel better.  My Amanda and My Savannah make each workout a fun time and they always give me that extra push I need.

So my QUOTE OF THE DAY, has to do with my hubby, who is such a trooper and has taken over feeding the brood on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday (if I don't put something in the crockpot) so I can go to my workouts.  He wants and encourages me to go.  He even will guilt me if I even think about skipping and will ask me, "Is Amanda and Savannah going?' which I then feel guilty and make myself go which in the long run make me feel better.  So when I showed him this saying he said it sounded about right and a good thing for every husband to know.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

To to those "happy" women and their "endorphins" and the husbands who get to be married to them.  I salute all of you.

Have a great day everyone and try to not blow away.

Food log Thursday, April 22, 2015
Breakfast
Doughnut (I know, I just really really really wanted a doughnut)

Lunch
Chicken sandwich

SUPPER

Crockpot lasagna

COUNTDOWN:  

DAYS DOWN:  44

DAYS TO GO:  25

Day 42

Day 42.

I put in 24 hours of work this weekend.  But I love getting to take pictures, especially Prom and dance studio pictures.  I love the kids and all the costumes and beautiful dresses. But since I do not do this on a regular basis, my body isn't used to all the squatting and walking back and forth like it once was.  Plus my voice is a little out of practice saying instructions over and over and over and over again.  Saturday I worked from 4:00 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. went home and got back up to drive to Spirit Lake at 6:00 a.m. an took pictures until 9:00 p.m.  Needless to say, I didn't get a lot of sleep this weekend but my fitbit says I surpassed by 12,000 daily step goal both days and Sunday I really went beyond my goal.

I have 27 days and I really thought I would be much further than I am.  I am not getting down on myself, because I know it's a journey and it doesn't happen overnight and I have made some significant changes.  I drink a lake more of water than I ever did.  I exercise much more frequently. But deep down I wish I could do more to make the weight come off.  I've never been the stick then girl (well maybe back in 7th grade before the boob fairy visited) but I'm tired of being the heavier girl.  I think of myself one way and then I will see a picture of myself and completely take a downward spiral of the amazing power of my imagination that I thought I was small than I am.  But I wanted to do it in a healthy way this time.  I have done the water fasting, fasting in general, I have had bouts of bulemia and have tried diet pills which make me jittery and feel like I'm on speed.  I tried Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, and numerous other diets, but they are not very lasting.  Quick results yes, but I'm don't seem to be able to sustain the diet due to such restrictions.  Healthy is what I am striving for and I have eaten more fruit and vegetables and chicken in the past 42 days then I can't remember when.

I say this story and I related to the donkey.  Not that I think I'm an ass, but that even when you think others intentions are to your downfall, sometimes you have to shake it off and you will find your way out of the hole.

STORY OF THE DAY

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

I thanked my Piloxing Fusion instructor, Lisa, last week for having the class and I teared up.  Those that know me know I'm not one to cry in public and I keep my emotions and opinions pretty close to my heart.  But it had been a very long and emotional week and just telling her how much I appreciated he having class and the ladies that are in it, I could being get out the words, thank you.  We would have hugged but it was AFTER class and we were a bit on the sweaty side, so a raincheck was made.

My original goal was to lose 25 pounds by graduation (40 was my "in the perfect world" goal), I have lost 15 pounds and I forgot to weigh in this morning, heck I forgot to eat breakfast and also realized after I got to work I had put my sock AND my sports bra on inside out (needless to say working the whole weekend affected my ability to do simple tasks like dress myself).  So until I weigh myself tonight, I still have 10 pounds to go.  10 pounds in 27 days, that that like 2,8 pounds a week.  I can do that but I just have stay focused and not sample too many of the cupcakes I will be making in the next three weeks that a practice for graduation.

So what will today entail, even though I'm completely and totally exhausted am still planning on going to Fusion tonight to sweat and smile, even if I can barely stand.  I will go.

So Monday and we are on the downslide to graduation.  

Food Log, April 20, 2015

Breakfast

Forgot to eat

Lunch:

Broccoli and cauliflower with italian seasoning

SUPPER:

Chicken

COUNTDOWN:
DAYS DOWN:  42
DAYS TO GO:  27

Day 39-PROM SEASON BEGINS

Day 39
This weekend marks the beginning of Prom season for me.  I take pics at prom in Boone on Saturday and am taking pics all day at a dance studio in Spirit Lake on Sunday.  Next weekend is Clarion's prom.

Man time flies.  Had a wonderful birthday and thank you for all you kind words.

Been drinking a lot of water lately and feeling much better.  Love my Piloxing Fusion class and even though I may be sore a day or two after, I'm so glad that I went.

The weekend will consist of working, which is ALOT of walking and standing so that should make my Fitbit very happy.  Going to try to keep my water with me and just keep drinking.

So here's my quote of the WEEKEND!

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND!

So with working all weekend I may not post as much, but we are down to 30 days to graduation and last time I weighed in I was down 15.  Will weigh in on Monday because after running all weekend taking pics I'm sure to burn a calorie or two.

Only 30 days left and I need to step up my game and put in 200%.  I can do this and if I'm even a size smaller than when I started that is at least a step forward.  I will keep going forward after the 30 days.  Have 4 5k's left to do this summer and so many other things I want to accomplish.  So this is only the beginning of something even bigger.

So weather is supposed to be rainy, not good for Prom season but with enough hairspray any hairstyle can be set in concrete.

So have a great weekend everyone and just in the spirit of prom, do a little "Cupid Shuffle" to make your day a little brighter.

FOOD:

BREAKFAST

Caramel Ruthie Roll (only one)

LUNCH

APPLE

SUPPER
UNKIES IN THOR to celebrate my birthday and passing my Series 7 test.  It's the first family dinner with all of us in what seems like forever.!

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN 39

DAYS TO GO:  30

Day 38-Happy Birthday To Me

Day 38

Today is my 46th birthday.  And it's a glorious day.  Another year to find my awesome self and another year to spending find my bliss.

That's all I have to add today, because today is a free day and I am just enjoying being spoiled and pampered.

So Happy Birthday to me.  Another year behind me but so many more great ones ahead!

So thanks for reading and for being there for me.

Day 37-Be Brave, Be Strong, Be Smart

Day 37

I got an early birthday present from my Secret Pal at work today and it's also my Quote of the Day.  I put in on my desk right where I can see it and remind myself that everyday has it's challenges but as long as you keep a good heart and keep trying then even when things seem to be their darkest, you will still see a shimmer of light giving you hope.

I officially go over the hump in the 40's tomorrow and will be on the other side of 45.  I'm actually ok with it because to be honest I don't feel 45.  In fact sometimes I think I'm just making up this grown up stuff and my kids are just so used to me being right about stuff that they just follow me blindly thinking I really know what the heck I'm doing.  I still don't consider myself a grown up but in all facts and purposes I am. I can vote, drive a car, fight for my country.  I get to pay taxes (not my favorite grown up thing to do).  I can drink alcohol, I am tall enough to ride on the scary rides that have a height requirement.  If I felt inclined I could pretty much do whatever I wanted to do.  But I still like to have fun even though my grown up brain works overtime worrying about the world in general, I still try to find the smile in my day.  If I have to dance to get it out (which by the way is hilarious when I'm boogieing my way down an aisle at WalMart) or if I just have to yell, "Plot Twist" and turn the other direction, I will find a smile in each day.

I have struggled with my eating lately, if I do eat, I do try to eat healthy, but have to admit, I either haven't been hungry or I have a little of something and call it a day.  Not the best I know.  But this is hard and don't let anyone tell you different.  Yes, if there is fruit or vegetables I will fill my plate with those first and am trying to stay away from things I know are bad.  But each day is a mystery to me as to how I will choose.  Stress plays a big part and I am slowly changing that pattern but it's not a cold turkey kind of thing.

So Piloxing Fusion tonight, which I love.  I love hanging with my Amanda and getting to know all the wonderful ladies in class.  I try to learn at least one person's name that I didn't know before and I do give it my best but with my knee I take the precautious way for some of the exercises.  I figure as long as I keep moving than all is good in the world.

So here's my quote of the day (PS I love Winnie the Pooh, but Tigger really is my fav)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

My secret pal gave me wooden plaque with this written on it and I'm forever grateful for her giving it to me because it is a nice reminder.

Ok, so it's HUMP DAY which means that another week is on the downslide.  Drinking my water again and 1/2 a gallon is gone, the rest will be gone by 5.

So remember my minions,

You are Smart, You are Kind, and you are so very IMPORTANT TO ME!!!

Have a great day and see you tomorrow!

Food Log Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Breakfast:

Banana

Lunch:

chicken

Supper:

???

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN:  37

DAYS TO GO:  32

Day 36-GO LEFT YOUNG LADY!

Ok working out last night was just what the doctor ordered.  Felt a weight lifted off me and even though the same situation still exists I feel better.  Today a little stressed but hey I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a bit stressed about something right.

Trying to eat better and doing my knee exercises to strengthen my knee which seem to be working because I worked out last week and did my 5K this weekend, which I walked and jogged a little until my knee said, now that is enough lady.  And worked out last night and DID NOT come out with any injuries.  That's a big plus.

Need to drink more water, having trouble choking it down lately.  I do well for a while but then I just can't drink any more, flavored or not.  But am still trying to do better each day.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

So today I took a left and am remembering that I can only do what I can do and I can only help those that want my help.  No matter how much I want good for someone, until they want it also, all I can do it say I'm here if you need me.

So beautiful day out and the wind finally died down so may have to get a walk in after work today.  But have many more grad invitations I need to finish.  A mom's work is never done.

We are past the halfway point on this little adventure and I haven't weight myself this week, may wait until next week since I have a pretty full load with work and pictures and will be moving quite a bit so think I will wait til next Monday to see where I am.

So Tuesday is almost over and Hump Day will be here.  Get out and take a walk and soak up some of that wonderful Vitamin D that Sun is sharing.

Food Log Tuesday, April 15, 2015

Breakfast:

Apple

Lunch:

Chicken sandwich

Supper:

Chicken

Broccoli

COUNTDOWN: 

DAYS DOWN:  36

DAYS TO GO:  33

Day 35-Personal Day

Day 35
Need a personal day everyone!  Sorry, but dealing with things that are beyond my control and unfortunately not wanting to share.

Tomorrow  will be better but for today I am taking it as a personal day from my blog.

My quotes should give you an idea but just need to get to Fusion tonight to clear my head and sweat but until then this is all I have to offer.

I am one to deal internally and whether that is good or bad is neither here or there but didn't want to abandon my goal of my blog, just a bad day which hopefully will go quickly and without incident.

Just need a day to regroup, thanks for reading and keeping me in check.

Don't blow away in the wind outside and try to get a look at the sun.  

Food Log

Nothing, not hungry

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN:  35

DAYS TO GO:  34

Day 32-SNOW Way, was that really Snow this morning

Day 32

Well as I stated in my blog yesterday we were going to have one more day of snow and I guess I should have just stayed quiet because, holy buckets batman!  Started yesterday around 8 and everything was nice and white this morning.  Even had to turn on my car to defrost my windshield in APRIL. Amazing.

Picked up my registration packet for my first 5K of the year.  The Live Healthy Iowa 5k here in my little town of Clarion.  Will have to walk most of it since I don't want to push my knee more than I need to but hey as long as I finish, that is all that matters and the fact I showed up and did it is considered an accomplishment.

Had cheesy potato soup that I had made at a Pampered Chef freezer workshop for supper.  Have to say it was a bit bland and will not be making it again.  Wasn't a big hit with the boys either.  They said it was ok but asked that I not make it again.  So that recipe is not longer in the book.

This morning consisted of scrambled eggs and looking forward to actually having a Friday afternoon where I don't have a do anything.  Yes I could clean and start some spring cleaning, but let's not get to crazy people.

Love my quote of the day and will think of it every time I see a Stop sign or someone says stop!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

You decide on how you day should be!  But dance like no one is watching!

So 5k tomorrow and back on track, will see how I do on Monday's weigh in.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Food Log, Friday, April 10, 2015

BREAKFAST

Scrambled Egg

Lunch

Ham and salad

SUPPER
?

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN:  32

DAYS TO GO:  37