Year Coming to a Close-Goodbye 2017- HELLO 2018

So with only a few days left in this wonderful year of 2017.  Many pounds have been lost, much happiness has been gained.  Clothes have been purchased in smaller sizes.  Miles and miles have been ran and thousands of squats have been done.  Planks are stronger and core is building.

Now is not a time to slack, but a time to push forward and up the ante.  I haven't hit my ideal goal (Around 16 more pounds to go) that I have in my head and that will be my main goal this year along with increasing my strength and muscle.  Also I think I need to do 10 5k's this year.  These aren't resolutions, because if you have ever done a resolution, you are all gung ho the first few weeks and then you say, "forget it" (ok maybe you say something a bit more colorful, but this is a PG13 blog) and it gets put down like broccoli at a chocolate festival.

January seems to be everyone's starting point for a healthier life.  I was at my gym the other day and just marveled at how there was only a few people there, I could use any machine I wanted or floor work without having anyone next to me.  This is be a fleeting memory until February.  The first month at my gym, seems like people are coming out of the woodwork.  I have to go later in the evening to get a machine, which is fine. I say bravo to them for starting their adventure, but come the second week in February, there seems to be a bit more machines open and if the weather gets colder and snowier, it gets to ghost town status some nights.  So if your goal this year is to go to the gym, don't give up.  I started last November 2016 and made a commitment to work out at least 6 times a week.  In the winter I do the majority of it at my gym, but when it gets a bit warmer, I do like to venture outside and sometimes it's easy to slip a quick 30 minutes at home, but I work out 6 times a week as a rule.  Now it's not a resolution, it's not a goal, it just IS.  It is what I do, like breathing and blinking.  It's just something that I don't even think about anymore as HAVING to do, but as something I DO!

So when you are writing your "resolutions", be realistic, the worst squasher of resolutions is having unreal expectations.  Don't set yourself up for failure!  Set yourself up for success.  Make a goal and stick to it.  If you want to lose weight, remember every pound is a success.  If you want to quit doing or start doing something, science says it takes about 21 days before it starts to be a habit.  So give yourself a 21 day goal to see where you are.  By then, you know whether it is something that is working for you or against you.

As I re-read my blogs, I am amazed at what I shared, my warped sense of humor, and also how far I've come.  I never thought I could be where I am now, but here I am, killing it like a rock star.

So 2017 was my BIG year of change, though I officially started in September 2016, 2017 was when I did all my big milestones, hitting 100 pounds of weight loss, being able to wear a pair of size 10 jeans, being able to run, being able to do a plank for longer than 10 seconds, and being able to let go of all the hurt I was carrying for so long.  This was my biggest accomplishment, at least in my eyes.

So with 2018 just around the corner, write down what you want to see happen to you, put it in an envelope and open it in July (yes JULY), this way if you haven't quite gotten things on your list done you still have 6 months to give a another shot.

So a very Happy New Year to all my readers and to all friends and family that have given me their supports, their humor, and their love to help me this year.  2018 is going to be even better, so stay tuned.

So see you next year my friends, have a peachy New Year's Weekend!

15 MONTHS, What a difference a face makes!

So as I while I'm sitting and waiting for that jolly elf St. Nick to come to my home, I was thumbing through some old photos. And low and behold, did I find some.  I was in shock.  Shock and disappointment in myself for letting my world get so out of control that I lost myself in the process.

If you are a reader of my posts, you know I struggle with putting up my "old" photos as my memory and the actual photograph don't always seem to be the same.  I don't remember being so swollen, in my eyes it didn't seem that drastic a change.  But since my daughter and I like to snapchat, looking at my face now and seeing what my face was before my adventure is mind blowing.

Now I see a sparkle in my eyes and a glimmer in my smile, in my before pics I can feel my unhappiness, even though I'm trying to mask it, but the camera doesn't hide much.

It will be officially 15 months today, December 19th!  15 months, I can't believe I have been doing this for 15 months, I would get excited if I stuck with something for 15 days and some things 15 hours was a struggle.  I am forever grateful for those of you that message me and encourage me and compliment me on my journey.  I'm getting better at taking compliments and I am getting a strange affliction to dressing up more for work and day to day.  I like the way my clothes fit and when I slip into my size 10 jeans and they fit the way a pair of jeans are supposed to and I look in the mirror and think, "WOW, is that really me or is this one of those fun house mirrors, and I look behind me to see who the skinny person is that is standing there"

So to give me some perspective I happened along 4 pics from my before world.  The two on top are pre September 19, 2016 (that summer I believe, since I was golfing), the bottom left is one month and the bottom right is 3 months. (I only know this because of the dates on the pics, my memory isn't that good)

I wouldn't say I'm proud of these pics.  But in all honesty, I really don't remember myself like this, but it was the way I was.  Key word there is WAS!  I'm NOT going back, forward is the only key I am hitting these days.  I only get one chance at this crazy ride called life and I'm taking advantage and you can join me or you can get out of my way.

But here are my after "face" pictures.  I have lots because before I didn't want to be in the pics and know I snapchat daily because it's fun and it makes me smile even more.

Most of these were taken in the few weeks if not  days.  I am so amazed at the difference in just my face.  Ignore all the different hair colors, I like to shake it up quite a bit, so you never know what color I will be every 6 months.

So as of Dec 19th, I'm still pedaling to work.  A friend said maybe I'm tempting the snow gods cause the last time we didn't have snow fall by now was in the 1930's.  I say, bring it on.  I WANT SNOW! an I double dog dare the snow gods to bring it on.  I will even put my tongue on a pole, but only thing that would happen today is it would leave a nasty taste in my mouth.  So hopefully, my tempting fate and egging on the snow gods, perhaps they will grant me the wish of a white Christmas.

So as I wait for Santa and look forward to spending time with family and friends over this holiday weekend, I'm happy to say that I am truly and honestly happy this year.  I have no expectations, but my heart is full, my butt is smaller and if this is the best I do, just the change in my face and expressions are enough for me.

So a very Merry Christmas to all my readers and thank you for helping me along the way.  I'm not done yet, but 15 months is a big milestone in my book, cause look at the smiles I have now.  I missed out on that smile for so long, that I plan on sharing it ALOT!

Merry Christmas my friends and until next week, I wish you a peachy rest of your day!

Holiday Goodies EVERYWHERE!

So this is the season of holiday merriment and joy and time together.  But it's also the time for baking and making all sorts of amazing goodies that you only do once a year.  Every time I turn around there is a cookie or candy beckoning me to pick it up and give it a home in my belly.  There's chocolate, cherry, strawberry, fudge, nuts, cinnamon, marshmallows, and every other wonderful sugar filled concoction know to man floating about where ever I seem to be roaming.

I have to admit, I have been very tempted this year.  I not much of a sweets person anymore, in fact, they don't taste the same to me, so I guess the lack of sugar has effected my taste buds somewhat.  My biggest weakness is frosted sugar cookies.  With just the right amount of frosting on a soft sugar cookie and I practically have a 50 Shades of Grey moment just looking at them.  And if I'm being perfectly honest, if Christian Grey were standing next to me and feeding me sugar cookies, I would sacrifice a few pounds for the pleasure.  (Don't judge me!  lol)

So with the holidays, comes the goodies and also the need to lower your guard and you think, I'll just have one bite, which leads to two then to the entire thing being gone and then you decide that you have shot that goal out of the water and might as well just enjoy and suffer the consequences later.  Then later arrives and if you are anything like me, you could give yourself a good kick in the backside for being a cotton headed ninny muggins (any Elf fans out there, shout out to you).  I know I am extremely hard on myself but when it comes to others, I'm Miss Support.  It's easier to focus your energies on helping others, but you can't forget abou you.  It's not a selfish act to take care of you.  As someone who took about 47 years to figure this out, I am hopefully embarking my wisdom on you.  Now I'm not perfect and I still have the guilt, but now I tell the little man I call guilt to go sit in the corner and take a time out.

Christmas should be time of joy and wonderment.  Not a time of stress and guilt over what you are eating or drinking.  Moderation is key.  Is it easy???  HECK NO!  If it was easy, I wouldn't be writing about it and you wouldn't see hundreds of infomercials on how to lose weight.  I watch those now and think of all the money I have spent over the years to lose weight and until I decided to do a complete overhaul and go the "do or die" method of changing my life habits, nothing was going to change.  I'd probably have a nice condo in Arizona after all I have put towards the "quick fix"

So update, it's December 13th and I AM STILL RIDING MY BIKE TO WORK!  The wind and the cold can be a challenge but until I see actually white fluffy stuff on the ground, I'm going to be pedaling my butt to work every day.  I really want it to snow, not because I want to quit riding my bike, but because I want snow for Christmas!  I LOVE SNOW and I am getting all giddy with anticipation that it will be here SOMEDAY!

I did a quick step on the scale and I'm down 109 pounds, a couple pounds difference from the last time I stepped on it, but I am doing more strength training, so hopefully some of the fat that is on my body is turning into muscle.  Amazing things are happening, I can do sit ups and crunches and not have to grab my legs to get up.  I do believe I actually have a core that is working now.  I can do jumping jacks though I am still a bit apprehensive because of my knees, but I can do them where before it was a definite no go.  I get very proud of myself when I go to workout class and I can actually do what the teacher wants us to, no variation.  This is a huge ego booster and makes me want to do more.

So I'm just telling you that the journey is worth it, and maybe you have a New Year's Resolution to start working out or eating better, but why wait til January.  Take small steps and eventually they will be leaps and bounds.

So don't sweat the small stuff, especially if it's a small frosted sugar cookie.  One cookie isn't going to hurt.  But if you happen to see Christian Grey and he has a whole plateful of cookies, I say "GO FOR IT" and have an extra cookie for me!!!

Have a peachy week my friends and if you have snow, please send some my way!

Good Morning Canadian Wind!

So December is ticking away quickly.  Any one else remember when you were a kid and it seemed like it would take forever for Christmas to get here.  Well, I guess when you are doing the waiting, instead of the shopping, things go by slower.  This week we enjoyed highs in the 60's and then a wonderful Canadian breeze came in and today we are enjoying nice 20 degree weather.  And YES I did still ride my bike even though there was a windchill that made it feel like 6 degrees but hey I didn't have to use blush to get that rosy glow.  I did, on the other hand, have to wait about an hour before my ears and nose defrosted.

Been doing a lot of ab and leg work lately and boy can I feel it.  You never know how much you use those muscles until you work them out and then have to use the bathroom the next day.  Talk about a realization in the human anatomy.  You don't realize how many muscles in your abs and legs you use to get up and down until you work them to soreness.  But hey, no pain no gain RIGHT!

I also had the pleasure this last weekend to take my daughter to her first concert.  We saw KATY PERRY on her Witness Tour and it was FANTASTIC!!!!  LOVE LOVE LOVED IT!  I sang and screamed so much that as a bonus for my family, I had absolutely NO voice on Sunday, which depending on how you look at it was a blessing or a curse, depending on who you were.  But the boys seems to enjoy me being silent for a change and not silent because I was angry at one or more of them for something they did or didn't do. ha ha

I got all gussied up and wore clothes I never thought I could wear.  I didn't wear something that covered my butt and to be perfectly honest, I felt AMAZINGLY GREAT!

This working out thing is, forgive the pun, WORKING OUT!  I feel great.  And with the small exception here and there, I'm overly happy.   Which is good since it's the holiday season.  I'm not sweating the small stuff, this has been a very stress free holiday for me so far.  My kids haven't asked for much and mostly have requested time to go and do things together.  I'm way under budget for what I planned to spend this year and I am slowly but surely buying clothes that fit and guess what, when you get to my size, stuff is actually really on sale.

I'm so looking forward to the next few weeks, which are filled with parties, friends, and working out, but I'm so thankful that I went on this adventure (and am still on it) but I never in a million years thought I would feel the way I feel now.

So while I look into buying a stabilization bar to put next to my toilet at home for future workouts, perhaps I can ask Santa for one, a pretty one that has rhinestones might be nice.  So remember to take one day at a time.  If your day starts to go south, don't make that few minutes derail you from your North Pole happy place.  I know it's easier said than done, but nothing is worth anything without a little effort, right?  I mean Judy the elf took 1,200 years to perfect hot cocoa in the Santa Clause, so if you need a day, month, or year, that's just a drop in the bucket.

So as I suffer through abs and leg days and remind myself that I am paying someone to torture me on a regular basis and that I LIKE IT!  Be kind to yourself, because if you don't have your own back, who will!

So enjoy the rest of week and if you are in the Midwest, bundle up buttercups because it's going to get a little chilly out!

PUMPKIN PIE-FIZZ or FIZZLE?

So after surviving making 2 turkeys and a full meal for Thanksgiving and only suffering 2 burns on the same finger (wanted to apparently limit my suffering to one place in order to be more efficient), it was a beautiful day and I even got a walk in after dinner, so all in all a great day was had by all.

I made pumpkin and cherry pie.  Now I'm a known pumpkin pie addict, in fact before my daughter (who will be 23 next month), my hubby left for the weekend at the end of November and I had just made 6, yes 6, pumpkin pies.  He left on Friday and by Sunday afternoon, there were no pies left.  Yes, that is what I ate the entire weekend along with 6, yes I said 6 LARGE tubs of Cool Whip.  Cause you can't eat pumpkin pie without Cool Whip that is just so wrong.  I'm was shocked that my daughter wasn't born with a orange twinge to her skin, but think maybe the Cool Whip counteracted the orange.  My husband was shocked, but I really like pumpkin pie.  Ok so back to my original thought, I made 4 pumpkin pies, sent 2 out the door with guests, one was eaten on the day and then there was the one lonely one that was left.  It was sitting in my fridge, looking at me with all it's yummy pumpkinness just begging me to slice off a chuck and dip it in cool whip and shove it in my mouth.  I resisted temptation until Sunday and I decided one little slice wasn't going to hurt, right?  I was all excited, pretty sad when a sliver of pumpkin pie makes your eyes gloss over and makes you drool in front of the refrigerator like a starving man looking at a ham, but that is exactly how I felt.  So after drowning my pie in that glorious white and fluffy concoction that makes all desserts better, I was ready, no I was more than ready to take that fork and put that yummy, smooth and memory invoking food into my mouth.  So I took a bite, and to be honest, it didn't taste the same.  Now don't get me wrong, it tasted like it was supposed to, but I think my taste buds are staging a strike and weren't bursting with the pleasure I used to get from pumpkin pie.  After two more bites, I just didn't have the will to finish it.  After all these months of no sweets, I think my taste buds and brain have rewired and things that used to be mind blowing, now are just blah.  Now this is good and bad in a way.  Good that I don't crave all the sweets I could consume in mass quantities and add inches on my hips just by looking at them, bad in that I kind of miss that feeling of the first bite.  Pumpkin pie and I go way back.  It probably it my most favorite pie since I can't remember when, so I'm thinking we are no longer best friends, but acquaintances that will send Christmas cards to each other once a year to catch up on how long it's been since we last seen each other.  I still like pumpkin pie, but I guess my love for it has cooled from a Fifty Shades of Grey obsession to more of a "The Christmas Story" movie, ok to see once a year but really don't wish to watch beyond the holidays.

So I'm still riding my bike to work as it still hasn't SNOWED!  And since Mother Nature seems to be having hot flashing at the moment, the joke is that I will be riding my bike until Christmas.  So now the bets are how long will I ride my bike.  Only time and Mother Nature know, but I'm determined to ride until it actually snows!

Weight wise I've lost another pound and a half, so up to 108.5 so far and I'm shocked that I can to sit ups and crunches without having to pull myself up, which is kinda cool. 

So the holidays are in full swing and Cyber this and Sale that is all around us.  Remember to tell those around you how much you love them and love having them here.  Because as someone who lost their parents early in life, there is so much that you have that you don't realize it until it's gone, take a minute and be grateful for what you have and not what you don't.

So I hope you have you list for Santa ready and whether you are on the nice or naughty list, remember that you matter in this world.  Especially to me, cause if you all didn't read this, then I would be just some strange Mid West lady that obsesses about pumpkin pie and snow and moans and groans about weight training in order to make her butt smaller.

So have a peachy week my friends and good luck to all on your holiday countdown.

THE DRESS!

This week is going to be a blur so I am going to hurry and post before the holiday festivities begin.  This weekend I had the honor to attend a wedding of a family friend, in all reality, they are family.
But the big thing that happened is that I wore a DRESS!  Yes a dress, I do believe the last dress I wore was my wedding and that was 28 years ago.  This was not a flowy dress.  This was a tight, cling to my figure dress that I actually put on and went out in public with.

The other big thing I did, I DANCED!  I bounced around and danced for hours without looking like a drowned rat at the end of the night.  I bounced, shimmied, and wiggled my body like a woman possessed.  The funny thing is, I only had one shot the entire night (what can I say, you can't say no to the mother of the groom).  I got more than 24,000 steps on my fitbit that day and aside from trying to dance in my heels the first 30 minutes, I felt FANTASTIC!

I had so much fun.  I love this family like my own and it's give me nothing but joy and excitement when I get to see friends that make me laugh and just happy.  I got to catch up on their families and hug and laugh and just be silly and wild with the most amazing people ever!

So as promised, here is the dress.  Please note, I forgot to take the pic BEFORE the wedding, so this is at 12:30 am after the wedding, cause I did promise to post a pic.

Now my hair was much fluffier and my support pantyhose had a bit more support at the beginning of the night, but to be honest, I didn't care.  I actually thought I looked pretty good.  Not fashion model runway material, but pretty good for a 48 year old mother of 3 that has been literally working her butt off.

So these two pictures really make all the hard work worth it.  I now have a permanent record of what I have accomplished.  I would have covered up in a sweater before, NEVER would have worn heels and not a change in H E double hockey sticks would I have ever worn a dress this tight.  But taking a leap out of my comfort zone and trusting my daughter and hubby that I did look nice, I just did it.

This was a HUGE day for me!  No I wasn't the one getting married but I sure did feel like a bride all prettied up and fancy.  And my friends were nothing but supportive and kind.  So many compliments and hugs and smiles, now who wouldn't want to spend their Saturday night being complimented and boogieing with the most amazing dancing divas around.

So as Thanksgiving is only a few days away and then it will be a whirlwind of activity, I am still flying high on the effect of feeling good on the inside as well as the outside.

So, I hope your Thanksgiving is filled with blessings and laughter.  Remember that you have to allow your special occasions.  Don't fret the pie or the stuffing.  Remember to use moderation, and as a friend just recently said to me (shout out to my my girl, AMANDA), you have to find your "worth it", like Halloween candy isn't worth it, but your grandmother's pie at Thanksgiving is definitely a "worth it".  So find your "Worth It" this holiday and remember you can burn off some of those calories on your Black Friday shopping.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and have a peachy rest of your week.

3 Days-No Workout=What is the cause and effect?

I haven't done well this week.  I don't know if it's the daylight savings time that is catching up with me or if it's the dark when I get home, or that it's just getting colder, but this week, by the time I get home I just haven't been able to make myself work out.  Now if this was the old me, this wouldn't be anything unusual, but I'm going on 3 days of not working out.  I've never gone 3 days in the past year.  Luckily I have boot camp class tonight and maybe just being around all those wonderful women who make me smile and laugh and feel good about myself will kick start me back into gear.
I'm rather disappointed in myself for going 3 days in a row, now I'm not just sitting at home and watching TV, I've been really busy doing things for church and so forth, but that's not a good enough excuse, at least not to me.

But after looking back on my posts and my food journal app that allows me to put in notes, I know the real reason, even though it is completely subconscious. On the 27th of this month, it will mark the 35 anniversary since my mom died.  I think subconsciously my body know this and even though I am excited about the upcoming holiday season, there is a part of me that is broken.  Even after 35 years, I still miss her terribly and wish she was here to meet my husband and children.  I don't mean to be melancholy and I do a pretty good job of hiding it, in fact I should get an Oscar for my performance as a well adjusted happy go lucky person on certain days.  I don't sleep very well this time of year, just my mind taking over and opening the door to sliver to let out a memory of two to remind me that I did have a mother and my life would have been so different had she not left us so soon.

So I'm chalking up the last three days as my own little pity party that apparently I was the only one invited.  It wasn't the best party as I don't eat any of the good snacks anymore. (ok, I still have my sense of humor)

I plan on going to boot camp class tonight and hopefully working out all this on the floor and maybe releasing some of my pent up sadness, guilt, self-pity, loss, whatever you want to call it.

I have always said that each day is a gift and as someone who has lost her parents very early in life, every day I get to spend with my kids is just that "a gift", even when I want to wring their little necks or roll my eyes because I can't believe they just said something completely insane.

So the past three days I can tell that my endorphins that you get from working out are a little low in my tank.  Probably because I didn't work out, but after writing this blog and getting a little perspective, I know the cause, now it's up to be for the effect.

This month is always a challenge for me, because unless you have lost a parent, especially one when you are 13, then it's hard to explain to someone else exactly what you are feeling. 

So I'm going to put on my workout clothes when I get home, lace up sneakers, fill up  my water bottle and go to class.  I'm going to sweat, smile, laugh and hopefully not twist, break or bruise anything that I cannot live without.

Staying silently strong is a talent I have perfected for many years.  With the help of this blog and support from all of you, I no longer have to be silent.

P.S.  Note to self in November 2018, you are a good person, you are a great mother, and your parents would be very proud of all you have accomplished thus far.  Remember that and all the rest is just gravy.

So thanks for reading and for all the encouragement, this funk too shall pass and I've decided today is as good as any to shut the sadness door.  It's like any door, if you leave it open too long, eventual you get flies and nobody likes flies.  So before I get flies, I will cherish the things I can remember and let go of the pain of the loss and while I'm at it, I will work on my positive, rather than wallow in my negative.

So I promise a more upbeat post next week, cause I will officially be wearing a dress this weekend, the first dress I've basically worn since my wedding and that was 28 years ago.  So I guess I'm due.  I will post pics, the first will be the one in my dress, and as my daughter witnessed at Kohl's last week when I bought heals, the second will be of me in my cast after trying to walk more than three feet in my heals....lol

Bike Riding and Life Lesson

Back in May I made a commitment to myself that I would ride my bike to work every day until it snows.  So through rain, sleet, and wind I've ridden my little green monster back and forth to work.  But now as I wake up to 30 degree weather and have on my scarf and mittens I am determined to ride my bike until it snows.  When will that be you ask?  No clue, I might still be pedaling my happy butt til Christmas. I like the the crisp air in the morning and having the sun on my face (when it does happen to stay out more than 6 minutes) when I'm riding home for lunch or coming and going to work.

Now I have almost been hit by two cars because apparently a big red STOP sign is too confusing to some and even though I'm on a bike, driving rules apply and I still have the right of way, but hey they didn't hit me and I sincerely hope they weren't trying to make some kind of points in a driving game I'm unaware of the rules.  Though I do know you when if you can find a blue haired lady walking a pink dog with a purple collar, so be on the look out to win.

Just a bit of humor for you, as I was working out the other day at the gym, I was doing my floor work and right behind me is the ever strong and dedicated muscle men who grunt and groan their way to amazing pecs and delts and other muscles groups. 

So as I'm bending over and squatting on the ground, kicking my legs back and forth and basically giving them the full glory of my back end.  I am working hard, sweating like I'm a fountain, and determined to do one more rep than last time.  When I work out I am oblivious to what is going on around me usually, I put in my headphones and get lost in my music and concentrate on the clock to determine how many more seconds I have to do a plank.  So after a very successful, (at least I didn't pass gas or fall over and need assistance), I had to use the rest room before leaving for home.  As I'm sitting there doing what everyone has to do when they consume too much liquid, I notice that I can see the floor through my work out pants.  After closer inspection, I notice I have a nice rip where the seam is smack in the middle of my butt.  Now this wouldn't normally concern me because I usually wear black underwear with my work out attire, but today I was in a hurry and went with whatever I had on from work.  Needless to say their were a bright yellow and has happy faces on them.  As I finish and decide to see if my panic attack is worthy or not, I bend over and look in the mirror and by goodness if it isn't like a flashing street light in the middle of a blackout.  I do believe that if ANY of the muscle men looked in my direction they had to have a snicker and perhaps a giggle as my small attempt at exibitionism, but lucky for me they were too much of a gentlemen to point it out as to embarrass me, anyway that's the story I'm sticking with.  So as I pull down my shirt to cover my butt and quickly exit the gym, I smile at myself at the thought that I just did an hour show of my happy face underwear for the whole gym to enjoy.  Now that is what I call a one woman show!

Needless to say, I now make sure to check all my pants BEFORE I put them on and do a stretch test to make sure I don't have an stress fractures to worry about.

So as we have a calm week before the hustle and bustle of getting ready for Thanksgiving begins and starting up the holiday season, take a second to realize the beauty in your surroundings.  I'm sure the big muscle men at my gym didn't know that their workout that night was going to include a bit of humor and fun, and I'm know that they saw but I was too intense in my workout to read the signs. So I guess showing a happy face, even if it is ON your underwear, is one way to share a smile.

So take a minute and enjoy what you have and always remember to check your workout pants for holes and wear coordinating colored underwear when you work out!  Just a little life lesson from me to you.

Have a peachy week my friends and until next week.

The Holiday Season has begun!

HAPPY 1st OF NOVEMBER MY FRIENDS!!!

So with the Trick or Treat and Halloween ending yesterday, seems to be the start of the holiday season for many of us.  I know I try each year to do things ahead of time and try to get a handle on the stress and sometimes mess of the holiday season.  There are foods to prepare, gifts to buys, cards to send, stockings to stuff, family to see, things to decorate and lots and lots of cleaning of dishes and houses to prepare for the "festive" season.

So yesterday I was Poppy the troll from The Trolls movie and it was so much fun.  Being able to put on a costume and feel comfortable in it was a new experience.  In fact I purchased most of my costume on Amazon and I didn't even try anything on until the morning of Halloween.  Because I was pretty confident that it would fit.  Another first, being confident that something was going to fit and look good is a new feeling, a good one, but new and a bit foreign to me.

So here I am in all my Poppy glory, my friend Angie was a gold troll and sprinkled glitter through out our office, it looks like Tinkerbell exploded but very cheery.

So with the holiday season starting (there are only 53 days till Christmas, just a little reminder for you), it also starts the overeating season.  Thanksgiving is filled with goodies that are normally only made once a year and you just feel awful if you don't indulge in these once in a year goodies.  Plus people are baking and bringing all sort of wonderful goodies to share in the festive spirit (I'm a big baker and a huge Pinterest junkie, so I'm very guilty of "making" things).  Yesterday was the start of our holiday season and we have a "Junk Food Day" where everyone brings tons of goodies and we graze the entire day and by the time we get home we are so stuffed it's like a pre-Thanksgiving run.  I was pretty proud of myself, though I did contribute some yummy pumpkin cream cheese swirl muffins, I only had a little taco dip and some tortilla chips.  I didn't even feel the need to have anything else.  I know you are sitting there saying, "Yippee skippy and good for you, do you want a medal or something?"  No, not a medal, but if you would have told me a year ago I would have turned down caramel corn, pumpkin bars, cookies, and cake, I probably would have given you the you're number one salute with my middle finger.  

I'm just saying it is possible, and will power does work, but you have to have a foundation and the determination to stick to your guns.

Halloween lets us start off the holiday season being whatever we wish to be.  Me, I was a troll, not exactly Morticia Adams, but hey, Poppy is happy and likes to scrapbook, so not too much of a stretch for me.  Today is the first day of a new month.  The first day to start a new venture or a new goal.  I'm working on sticking to my workout schedule, due to some severe muscle soreness after bootcamp last week, I missed working out a few days, now I could have worked out but my mind over powered by body and dismissed missing a couple days to workout.  What was I thinking?  I wasn't.  I had let a little of the old me slip back in and take over for 48 hours, I would have been in less pain if I would have worked out but I was in pity mode and even though my quads were killing me, I could have at least walked.  So lesson learned and making oneself a priority is hard.  Especially if you are a mom or someone who takes care of others.  It's hard to get that 30 minutes, but I've come to conclusion that I need that 30 minutes for my own value and my own mental world.

Everyday I face challenges, some big, some so small that they don't really register until I recall my day, but I really have to step back and take a breath and think about what I'm going to do.  And other times I'm my crazy impulsive self and just jump without thinking.  But that's what's life is about.  Taking a leap, taking a stand, and stepping away from the chocolate cake after one bite!  Not easy things to do, but without variety and fun, life wouldn't be FUN!  You only get one life and it's up to you what you do with it, so make it GRAND!

So this is a new month, what are you going to do!  Be BOLD!  Be Spontaneous!  Show your Sparkle!  Give each day all you have and you will never regret the day!  Give of yourself to others, you never know how much a hug, a smile, or even a wave to someone can change their day.  

So start off your holiday season with a positive attitude and just the goal to enjoy the holiday instead of surviving it!

So have a peachy week my friends and enjoy your extra hour this week as we lose it this weekend!

Judging others apparently doesn't require a law degree.

A fellow reader is struggling with something that I struggle with also and asked me for my advice, so here is my small rant that I have to spill out before it festers into something big and possibly angry enough to stomp a small town like Godzilla.

I've been pretty honest in my posts, sometimes surprising myself in how much I was willing to share.  Do I tell you every single little tiny thing?  NO!

This journey was MY journey to take.  I didn't cheat, I didn't take the easy way, I took the way I hoped would work.  I've shared my ups and downs and to those I've trusted they may know some more detailed info but the struggle and work I've posted is 100% all me!  I started to post in order to keep me accountable with myself, it just happened that there were a lot of people who also struggled with the same issues and related to what I posted.

No one else sacrificed, sweated, and pushed forward, I did it all, no one did it for me.

Sometimes you have 2 choices in choosing a path:

#1 - is to stay on the path you are on and deal the with consequences of not doing anything or

#2 - take the risk and go where you don't know but at least you tried path

So if you have a question about my journey - ASK ME!

then I have the choice of sharing or not.  Do you share everything you do with the world? Of course not.  When you go the magic show, you lose the magic if the magician sat there and described step by step what he was doing.  I'm not trying to hide anything and 99.9% of the time I'm happy to share my story, but after one year, it not about how I started or what I did, but about how I'm doing now and what I'm doing NOW! The chain of events that brought me to this point are in my posts, every word is true and I shared what I was comfortable in sharing.

So for those guessing and speculating about my journey, I wish you well and luck in your endeavors.  The Enquirer version is much more judgment and gossip worthy.  But if you truly cared to know the "whole" story, you would have asked me in the past 12 months, that was when I was in the hardest part of my journey.  But since you didn't, I guess you missed your window.

To my fellow reader, GS from the UK, who is also struggling with this, I say brave forward, those that truly care will tell you minus the audience of social media.  Remember those that you trust and have shown their support, personal interaction with those who are there for you will help you succeed.

Weight loss is a deeply personal and heart wrenching process and unless you have been where I was, then you can not truly understand, but to those of you, all 7,000+ that read this every week, know that you are stronger than those that judge you.  You have great importance in this world and you are one of kind.

So don't let those that choose to relate to you second hand, you deserve face to face interaction and guess what? You are in control of what you wish to share.  Be strong and have faith because the wolves in sheep's clothing get easier to spot when you have more confidence in yourself.

So rant over, but to my fellow friends working on being healthier, you are not alone, every day is a gift and it's up to YOU how you use it.

It's YOUR choice to let the negative get you off track.  But being happy and healthy is a great revenge against those ney sayers. So to GS in the UK, I say stay strong and keep moving forward because you are WORTH IT!

So keep your chin high and remember that the only opinion about you that matters is your own!

Cooler Weather- New Jeans

So when it isn't raining in Iowa at the moment Mother Nature is slightly bi polar and makes the days in between the rain, sunny and fall like.  I love the crisp air in the morning and the leaves changing colors.  Fall is one of my favorite season behind winter.  I know I'm in the minority for that but I LOVE snow almost in a creepy stalker kind of way.  I love the smell of the air before it snows and I love to walk in the snow.  So yes, I'm certifiably a bit off center.

So with cooler weather, it's time for a change in clothing.  Shorts and t-shirts are getting replaced by jeans and sweatshirts.  But when I tried on my size 16 jeans that I last purchased in this last year, guess what, they DON'T fit.  They are way to big.  So after mustering up a little courage, I walked into the store and grabbed 3 sizes of jeans, a 14, a 12, and a 10.  Now this was completely foreign to me and I kept looking that them thinking there was NO WAY these were going to fit.  So in order to not completely shatter my confidence I went for the size 14 jeans first. 

Shock and surprise, I could pull them off without even unbuttoning them, they were way to loose and baggy.  Ok, self-esteem a bit higher.  Thinking sacrificing eating no cake or cookies for a year might have been worth this moment.  So with a bit more confidence and a little hope, I tried on the size 12 jeans.  Now they fit perfect but not too tight but comfortable, a bit of looseness in the waist and if you have ever shopped for jeans this is a cat and mouse game trying to find a fit that looks and feels good.  So I decided to take the leap and try on the size 10.  As I put my first leg into it, I mind immediately said, there is no way these are going to fit.  I immediately when into a food journal mode and started to thing of everything I had ate that day and did I drink enough water so I wasn't bloated or retaining a small food baby before trying to button these jeans.  In fact I considered just stopping there and going with the 12's and calling it a success.  But hey I already had one leg in so why not take the plunge and just see what happens, wouldn't be the first time I cried in a dressing room (not that I was too this stage but trying on clothes has never been an overly positive experience in my world).  So in goes the other leg and it occurs to me I need to shave my legs and I then I think maybe I need to start doing more exercises where I can tone my legs more, then I think I really need to start getting pumpkins for Halloween and what kind of candy will I give out this year (yes it's like I have ADD but in a weird fun way) but then I snap back into my body and realize I need to pull these jeans up over my hips and make the attempt to button them without having to ask for a pair of pliers and an assistant to snap them for me.  So with a little wiggle, up they went.  THEY FIT!!!!!  I will admit they were just a bit snug, not painted on tight, but they were definitely showing my curves.  I actually did the turn away from the mirror and look back move to see how my butt looked!  I even was able to do a squat in them and nothing creaked or split and an ambulance wasn't called to cut me out of them so I could breathe.

Now I know you all think I bought the 10's, well you are right, but I also bought the 12's.  Why?  Because the 12's fit perfect and due to the fit and brand I felt super comfortable in them, but I also bought the 10's which was a different brand because it made my butt look AMAZING! and I'm all for a little butt confidence!

So getting to shop and picking jeans off the rack in a size that is more attainable is ASTONISHING to me.  I never thought I would be able to do this.  Heck it still baffles me, but to leave a store after trying on jeans and having a huge smile and a sense of pride is definitely a new thing for me but something that I worked hard for.

Clothes shopping has never been one of my favorite things to do for myself.  I get very self aware and even though I have done a lot in progress of my mind and body, clothes shopping brings out those demons that have haunted me for years.  But getting to tell those demons to "SUCK IT" when I try on a pair of size 10 jeans it pretty awesome.

So as I strut (yes I'm wearing a size 10, you bet my amazing butt that I'm going to strut like Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever or Staying Alive!) in my new jeans I come the realization that a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to even get these jeans past my calves, and now they are past my hips and buttoned, so even though I really miss bread and pasta, being able to shop and buy a size that is 7 sizes smaller than what I wore a year ago is mind blowing!

So remember that each day turns into weeks and months and before you know it a year has past and if you are lucky, you finally get to see the results you had hope and prayed for.

So go out and enjoy the fall weather, but on your favorite jeans and sweatshirt and soak up the sunshine because this is the beginning of all the HTC season (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas season) and we all need a little calm before the hustle and bustle.

Have a great week my friends and until next time.

QUESTION OF THE DAY? DID I MAKE MY 1 YEAR GOAL????

So I sincerely apologize for the delay in getting this post up.  My hubby had some major surgery (he is fine) but has needed my attention and I help run our city recreation soccer league for 1st through 6th grade and to be totally honest there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I need to get done.

So did I make my one year goal?  This is the question on the table.  So with a bit of weariness and a little bit of fear I went to the doctor and stood on their fancy shmancy scale that I believe will tell all my secrets from the past due to it's shiny appearance and multiple digital numbers it spits out when I am standing on it.

So on I step, and grab the handles as instructed and honestly begin to pray that I at least am close, I will be happy as long as I didn't GAIN anything.  So after what seemed like forever, which in reality was about 7 seconds, the very nice lady in front of me announces, "Guess what you are down 105 pounds from a year ago!"  Talk about jubilation.  I do believe I felt a weight lifted off me, well guess what, I did lift a weight off me, 105 pounds worth.
(Just an update, that was about two weeks ago and as of this morning I've lost 107, so 19 more pounds to go for my ultimate goal which doesn't at this moment have an exact goal date)

That practically a middle school child or a little over four 25 pound toddlers I've lost, so I did a little research and to put it all in perspective:

105 pounds is equal to:

10 - 10 pound bowling balls

5 1/2- Car Tires

21 - Little Chihuahua dogs

21 - Gallons of Vanilla Ice Cream

1252.35 - Hostess Twinkies

So as I said I would do, I went back through my post from the beginning and I noticed a few things, 

Number one, I'm pretty clever and funny at times, guess I never realized it until I took a step back and read them in a different frame of mind.  Yes I'm the butt of my own jokes, but hey if my life wasn't so bloody funny, I wouldn't have anything to say.

Number 2 - There is definitely an attitude and self-esteem change.  I'm the first to make fun of myself, because hey my life is pretty hysterical at times and I like to share the laughter, but I could see the sadness in some of my posts and I can remember feeling the way I felt and thinking when was the shoe going to drop.  But as time went on I was able to read the shift in my thinking.  I cared less of what other people thought and more about what I thought. I'm not saying I'm perfect or that I don't still struggle, but I can see that I was struggling so much internally then that I know now that I don't have the heavy burden over me any more.  I'm still learning to let go of things that hurt me but knowing that I'm healthier and feel better than I have in years makes it easier to do.

Number 3 - I'm able to run!  I may run as though I'm dragging a Mack truck behind me, but I CAN RUN!  My knees don't hurt.  I don't run out of breath doing stairs.  I can do a plank correctly and not on my knees! (Even though I really hate doing planks!)  I actually did jumping jacks this week at Bootcamp class.  I haven't done a jumping jack (Where there was air in between my feet and floor) in probably 10 years because it hurt my knees too much.  I can jump!  Maybe not a Micheal Jordan slam dunking a basketball jump, but I can get some height between me and the floor!

Number 4 - I make smart choices when I eat.  Emotional eating is no longer an option.  When I'm having a bad day, I go workout, go for a walk, crochet, paint, I find any other option that doesn't include me sitting on the couch in front of the tv stuffing my face with comfort food that used to make me feel better while doing it, but then came the guilt of doing it after and the consequences of trying to fit into my clothes after.  I still eat out, I choose not to eat certain foods.  I CAN eat them, but knowing what my difficult foods for me are, I now can just say, NO Thank You when offered and walk away.  

This journey isn't over.  To be in the correct BMI range, which I know is not perfect, but my goal is to at least be in the range of normal, which being normal would be a first for me.  So 19 more pounds.  I know weight training is probably my key, and I'm slowly wrapping my mind around it but wish there were more options for classes in my area. But since I chose to live in my wonderful little town, it is up to me to find other sources to do.  I've just gotten the Body Boss program and will be starting this on Monday.  So will let you know how it goes.

1 YEAR

Months without Soda or Alcohol

13 months

Months without Pasta, Potatoes, Bread, and Sweets

12 months

Total pound to date

107

Total pounds to year end goal

-7 

I'm over my goal by 7 pounds!

Total to Ultimate Goal

19 pounds

So as soon as I get a minute I will post pics in a very future post to show my progress.  I have one year under my belt and where I go from here is completely up to me.  No time to backslide now, just because I've achieved my one year goal is not a reason to decline in my commitment.

This is a struggle EVERY day!  Some days the struggle is small and some days it's BIG! But every day is a new day to start again and every day is whatever you make of it.  And that's my goal, it make every single day count.

So Happy 1 Year Anniversary to me!

I worked hard every single day, minute, and second of this year!

So onward and upward my friends.

Have a peachy week!

1 week left until my 1 Year!

Exactly one week left until my 1 year "anniversary"   Doesn't seem like a year, but then again there were times when it seems like forever.  I have a doctor appointment to check vitamin levels and such and I am refusing to step on the scale until the 19th.  Though the temptation to check is great, I'm going to wait and see what it is on the 19th and it is what it is.

I have worked really hard this year.  I work out almost every day.  I haven't had pasta in so long that it doesn't even sound good to eat, which means it's been a long time since I had a taste.  I don't crave for carbs, though once a month I would kill for a little bit of chocolate or a hot buttered clover roll, but once that feeling passes I really haven't missed having anything.  I eat more for fuel than for entertainment or boredom or stress.  When I feel overwhelmed, I take a bike ride, go for a walk, or go work out, instead of putting something in my mouth to add to my backside.

Do I love to workout?  Some days HECK YES!  Some days, HECK NO.  On those days, I literally will be cussing like a sailor on leave in my head and sometimes out loud to myself how I really don't want to go "X!#*ing work out today",  "this sucks", "I'm only doing 30 minutes just to get it over with!"  "The sooner I get there, the sooner I'm done" "I don't wanna go, but I already put on my clothes and shoes and it will only take 30 minutes, so just another thing on my to do list I HAVE to do" my son Spencer, asks me if we are working out and when I start to say no, he gives me that face, and I'm like "FINE! let's go"

So you see it's not all roses and puppies each day,  But then I get to working out.  and on the bad days, I think, good only 25 minutes left, working out more and looking at clock, "yeah only 20 minutes left", then it's Yeah I'm half done, hurry up clock.  But a funny thing happens around workout time on minute 20, I start to look at the miles and think, maybe I can get to 3 miles today, so when I get to the 30 minute mark and I'm not quite at 3 miles I basically have talked myself into going another 5 minutes and maybe even a bit faster on the treadmill in order to get to 3, then I think hey I could easily get to 3.5 and see if I can't do a full 4 minutes at 5.5 and see how far I get.  And before I know it, I feel better.  The minute that I stop, I feel a complete reversal of my mood on those days when I DIDN'T want to work out.  For 30 or 40 minutes I was able to clear my brain of all the negative that was overpowering it and was able to reboot it to see a bit more on the positive.

What I eat and what I do it up to me.  I choose not to eat pasta, bread, or potatoes and sweets, I could have it if I wanted it, but I've chosen to not do so.  I eat protein and vegetables, I drink 90 ounces of water (with Crystal Light Fruit Punch) each day.  I take my multivitamin, my Vitamin D, B, A and calcium and I take biotin to help with my hair and nails.  If I have to go to the store depending on how much I need, I ride my bike.  I ride my bike to work every day.  My son drives my car more than I do, I just get to put gas in it, lucky me!

So 7 days till it's been one year since I started this adventure.  It's not the end but only the beginning to all the things I can do now.  A year ago it took me almost an hour and 10 minutes to do a 5k, that last 5k I did, it took 35 minutes.  Most of the clothes in my closet need to be donated because they don't fit.  They are too big and not just one or two sizes.

This isn't easy and each day presents its own challenges, but once you put your mind to something and decide that there is no other option, then you do what you have to do.  I really do think that my adventure has been mind over body, because once I got my mind on board my body started to respond.

So I know you might want to give up some days, and believe me, I'm with you, but that one little moment in time when you are just about to devour that entire cheesecake and then know you are going to regret it, take one bite, put that cheesecake away, but on your favorite tunes and put one foot in front of the other and go for a walk.  Heck, call me and I'll walk with you, long as you don't mind a bit of naughty humor to move us along.

So 7 days and we will see how this last year really changed me.  I plan on reading some of my early posts to see where I was at the time and where I am now, should be interesting.

So until next week my friends, keep your heads held high and feel the sun shine upon you.  I am worthy and so are you.  So until next week my friends.

To Godmom Jo-We love and miss you

A close friend of the family, actually she was family, not by blood but by heart passed away unexpectedly on Sunday morning.  She was the godmother to my youngest and a surrogate grandma to us all.

We will miss you dearly and are better people for knowing you.

So forgive me this week as my heart is a bit sad and I remember this woman that we loved dearly.

Love you too much, Godmom Jo!

08/05/17 Godmom Jo, Spencer, and Godpop Tom
Spencer's 16th Birthday

COM*FORT*A*BLE

Can I keep this up?  There are days that I wish I would allow myself to eat whatever I wanted.  But the regret that would follow is so not something I want to experience again.  As I hear those around me getting ready to try new "diets", be it Atkins, Whole 30, Weight Watchers and such, I remember a time when I used to look forward to the start of the diet.  There was so much possibility and there was always hope.  But no matter my determination and dedication, after about 4 weeks, I would lose interest and to be honest, the weight didn't stay off and I usually ended up gaining more than when I started.

As I am coming to the end of my one year, I have to remind myself that I have achieved so much and even IF I do not reach my 100 pounds goal, I've come so much further than I ever have in the past.  But this goal is haunting me at the moment.  20 days and I have to admit I really am comfortable at where and what I am doing.  So there is the catch, I'm comfortable!!!  That's great if I'm buying a couch or looking to upgrade my mattress, but to get to my goal, not so much!!



The dictionary defines Comfortable as:

com·fort·a·ble

ˈkəmfərdəb(ə)l,ˈkəmftərbəl/

adjective

1. 1.

   (especially of clothes or furnishings) providing physical ease and relaxation.

These are words that do not work well when you are trying to achieve a weight loss goal. EASE and RELAXATION are not in the vocabulary of squats, crunches, running, reps, and donkey kicks. So how do I get out of this "comfort zone" before I sabotage myself days before the deadline.


I'm all for comfort, don't get me wrong, I love my comfy warm bed on a cold morning and the house is all dark and quiet. I love snuggling with my hubby under a blanket while watching a fire under the stars. But at this moment in the game, COMFORTABLE is a horrible word that has sneaked into my daily life and it is crippling me.


I've always been an out of the box kind of person. But even "out of the boxers" get stuck in a box sometimes and that is currently my position. What I want and what I'm willing to do to get it seem to be in question at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm dedicated to my eating and to my exercise, but I think it's time to move the exercise up a notch, which to be completely honest with you, I really am struggling with. Why am I struggling?  Good question.  I love going to a class like Fitness Fusion or Zumba (which in my area are only seasonal to the fall and winter months usually), because an hour can fly by in what seems like an instant. On my own, I've gotten a bit too routine and I know it. I'm not oblivious to my plight, but I'm also not gung ho on changing it either.


So the question is, "WHAT DO I DO NOW?" I have 3 weeks and even though I'm maintaining at my currently level of dedication, I'm not losing to hit my goal.


When I used to start a "diet", REVENGE was a great word I used to go ahead with it. To show all those who didn't think I could do it and give them a big head slap to the forehead that I could do it.  I have to admit sometimes I do think of individuals that made me feel "not worthy", those that to my face said one thing, but their actions spoke so much louder that I wanted to prove to them that I would be this "skinny person" that I could go shopping in the store at the non plus size area. That I didn't need their approval nor their recognition to be happy. But I've come to the conclusion that revenge never benefits the one trying to get it and usually goes over the heads of the ones you are trying to take revenge upon. Not everyone encouraged me at first, but when it got to the point where it was extremely noticeable that I was changing for the better and you could SEE it, people hopped on the bandwagon. Even those that I had to forgive for the hurt I felt, be it imaginary or real hurt, it still felt the same. I haven't forgotten but I have forgiven and now that I no longer want to PROVE to those people that I can do it, where do I find the motivation to strive forward and advance to hit my goal.


I don't want to be "comfortable", not yet. As the school year starts and Fall is just around the corner, (one of my favorite season right behind Winter, and yes I know I'm in the minority for that), it feels like something new is upon me.


So I'm going to try to add more to my daily routine, even if I have to hog tie myself to the elliptical machine or handcuff myself to a yoga mat, I'm going to really push myself this week. Will I be successful, only time will tell, but now that I have finally come to the realization that I'm no longer using my outside influences to push forward but using what's inside to do it!  I just hope I have that little bit more to push myself to my goal.

So there's my goal for the week, day by day is all I can do.  So wish me luck!