So with cooler weather, it's time for a change in clothing. Shorts and t-shirts are getting replaced by jeans and sweatshirts. But when I tried on my size 16 jeans that I last purchased in this last year, guess what, they DON'T fit. They are way to big. So after mustering up a little courage, I walked into the store and grabbed 3 sizes of jeans, a 14, a 12, and a 10. Now this was completely foreign to me and I kept looking that them thinking there was NO WAY these were going to fit. So in order to not completely shatter my confidence I went for the size 14 jeans first.
Shock and surprise, I could pull them off without even unbuttoning them, they were way to loose and baggy. Ok, self-esteem a bit higher. Thinking sacrificing eating no cake or cookies for a year might have been worth this moment. So with a bit more confidence and a little hope, I tried on the size 12 jeans. Now they fit perfect but not too tight but comfortable, a bit of looseness in the waist and if you have ever shopped for jeans this is a cat and mouse game trying to find a fit that looks and feels good. So I decided to take the leap and try on the size 10. As I put my first leg into it, I mind immediately said, there is no way these are going to fit. I immediately when into a food journal mode and started to thing of everything I had ate that day and did I drink enough water so I wasn't bloated or retaining a small food baby before trying to button these jeans. In fact I considered just stopping there and going with the 12's and calling it a success. But hey I already had one leg in so why not take the plunge and just see what happens, wouldn't be the first time I cried in a dressing room (not that I was too this stage but trying on clothes has never been an overly positive experience in my world). So in goes the other leg and it occurs to me I need to shave my legs and I then I think maybe I need to start doing more exercises where I can tone my legs more, then I think I really need to start getting pumpkins for Halloween and what kind of candy will I give out this year (yes it's like I have ADD but in a weird fun way) but then I snap back into my body and realize I need to pull these jeans up over my hips and make the attempt to button them without having to ask for a pair of pliers and an assistant to snap them for me. So with a little wiggle, up they went. THEY FIT!!!!! I will admit they were just a bit snug, not painted on tight, but they were definitely showing my curves. I actually did the turn away from the mirror and look back move to see how my butt looked! I even was able to do a squat in them and nothing creaked or split and an ambulance wasn't called to cut me out of them so I could breathe.
Now I know you all think I bought the 10's, well you are right, but I also bought the 12's. Why? Because the 12's fit perfect and due to the fit and brand I felt super comfortable in them, but I also bought the 10's which was a different brand because it made my butt look AMAZING! and I'm all for a little butt confidence!
So getting to shop and picking jeans off the rack in a size that is more attainable is ASTONISHING to me. I never thought I would be able to do this. Heck it still baffles me, but to leave a store after trying on jeans and having a huge smile and a sense of pride is definitely a new thing for me but something that I worked hard for.
Clothes shopping has never been one of my favorite things to do for myself. I get very self aware and even though I have done a lot in progress of my mind and body, clothes shopping brings out those demons that have haunted me for years. But getting to tell those demons to "SUCK IT" when I try on a pair of size 10 jeans it pretty awesome.
So as I strut (yes I'm wearing a size 10, you bet my amazing butt that I'm going to strut like Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever or Staying Alive!) in my new jeans I come the realization that a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to even get these jeans past my calves, and now they are past my hips and buttoned, so even though I really miss bread and pasta, being able to shop and buy a size that is 7 sizes smaller than what I wore a year ago is mind blowing!
So remember that each day turns into weeks and months and before you know it a year has past and if you are lucky, you finally get to see the results you had hope and prayed for.
So go out and enjoy the fall weather, but on your favorite jeans and sweatshirt and soak up the sunshine because this is the beginning of all the HTC season (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas season) and we all need a little calm before the hustle and bustle.
Have a great week my friends and until next time.
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