COM*FORT*A*BLE

Can I keep this up?  There are days that I wish I would allow myself to eat whatever I wanted.  But the regret that would follow is so not something I want to experience again.  As I hear those around me getting ready to try new "diets", be it Atkins, Whole 30, Weight Watchers and such, I remember a time when I used to look forward to the start of the diet.  There was so much possibility and there was always hope.  But no matter my determination and dedication, after about 4 weeks, I would lose interest and to be honest, the weight didn't stay off and I usually ended up gaining more than when I started.

As I am coming to the end of my one year, I have to remind myself that I have achieved so much and even IF I do not reach my 100 pounds goal, I've come so much further than I ever have in the past.  But this goal is haunting me at the moment.  20 days and I have to admit I really am comfortable at where and what I am doing.  So there is the catch, I'm comfortable!!!  That's great if I'm buying a couch or looking to upgrade my mattress, but to get to my goal, not so much!!



The dictionary defines Comfortable as:

com·fort·a·ble

ˈkəmfərdəb(ə)l,ˈkəmftərbəl/

adjective

1. 1.

   (especially of clothes or furnishings) providing physical ease and relaxation.

These are words that do not work well when you are trying to achieve a weight loss goal. EASE and RELAXATION are not in the vocabulary of squats, crunches, running, reps, and donkey kicks. So how do I get out of this "comfort zone" before I sabotage myself days before the deadline.


I'm all for comfort, don't get me wrong, I love my comfy warm bed on a cold morning and the house is all dark and quiet. I love snuggling with my hubby under a blanket while watching a fire under the stars. But at this moment in the game, COMFORTABLE is a horrible word that has sneaked into my daily life and it is crippling me.


I've always been an out of the box kind of person. But even "out of the boxers" get stuck in a box sometimes and that is currently my position. What I want and what I'm willing to do to get it seem to be in question at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm dedicated to my eating and to my exercise, but I think it's time to move the exercise up a notch, which to be completely honest with you, I really am struggling with. Why am I struggling?  Good question.  I love going to a class like Fitness Fusion or Zumba (which in my area are only seasonal to the fall and winter months usually), because an hour can fly by in what seems like an instant. On my own, I've gotten a bit too routine and I know it. I'm not oblivious to my plight, but I'm also not gung ho on changing it either.


So the question is, "WHAT DO I DO NOW?" I have 3 weeks and even though I'm maintaining at my currently level of dedication, I'm not losing to hit my goal.


When I used to start a "diet", REVENGE was a great word I used to go ahead with it. To show all those who didn't think I could do it and give them a big head slap to the forehead that I could do it.  I have to admit sometimes I do think of individuals that made me feel "not worthy", those that to my face said one thing, but their actions spoke so much louder that I wanted to prove to them that I would be this "skinny person" that I could go shopping in the store at the non plus size area. That I didn't need their approval nor their recognition to be happy. But I've come to the conclusion that revenge never benefits the one trying to get it and usually goes over the heads of the ones you are trying to take revenge upon. Not everyone encouraged me at first, but when it got to the point where it was extremely noticeable that I was changing for the better and you could SEE it, people hopped on the bandwagon. Even those that I had to forgive for the hurt I felt, be it imaginary or real hurt, it still felt the same. I haven't forgotten but I have forgiven and now that I no longer want to PROVE to those people that I can do it, where do I find the motivation to strive forward and advance to hit my goal.


I don't want to be "comfortable", not yet. As the school year starts and Fall is just around the corner, (one of my favorite season right behind Winter, and yes I know I'm in the minority for that), it feels like something new is upon me.


So I'm going to try to add more to my daily routine, even if I have to hog tie myself to the elliptical machine or handcuff myself to a yoga mat, I'm going to really push myself this week. Will I be successful, only time will tell, but now that I have finally come to the realization that I'm no longer using my outside influences to push forward but using what's inside to do it!  I just hope I have that little bit more to push myself to my goal.

So there's my goal for the week, day by day is all I can do.  So wish me luck!