Rain/Sunshine/Rain/Rain/Sunshine/Rain-NEW SHOES

I think Mother Nature must have a big wheel she is spinning and she seems to be falling on the rain slot an awful lot lately and seems like today is the day for sunshine but rain in the forecast for Thursday and Friday.

Now I don't know about you but when it's cloudy and dark and wet outside, my body seems to go in survival mode and wants to conserve energy rather than expel it.  But this is week two in the C25k challenge and I need to get week 2, day one done TODAY.  Yes I know it's Wednesday, and I really have no excuse for not doing it yesterday except for I lost my motivation, I had it yesterday when I woke up and had grand plans for after work when I got home but after a long day at work and coming home to do the dishes that didn't get done and cleaned the bathroom that somehow got dirty all by itself, and changed the litter box that should have been changed 2 days ago and made my bed and fixed dinner and then did dishes again, I somehow lost my motivation to put on my shoes and do my run, by the time I got all that done, I was just happy to sit and do NOTHING.  But this morning I read all the blogs of the ladies doing the same challenge and I was inspired and a bit disappointed in myself.  I had put everyone else in front of me again.  Was 30 minutes too much to ask for....NO!  But the person that said NO to me was the person I see in the mirror every morning.  Boy she is a pill sometimes, lovable, yes, funny, definitely, but she needs to put on her big girl pants and say NO to the dishes, the bathroom, the litter box (ok maybe not the litter box, because the poor cat can't change it and he shouldn't have to suffer).  Sometimes I lock my thoughts up inside my head (and believe me it's plenty crowded in there) and sometimes I have on very dark sunglasses so to see the bright in the darkness is hard.  Yesterday was that day.  But I woke up this morning and I had missed a text from my friend Amanda from earlier last evening because the minute I came home I shut off my phone and unplugged, but seeing her text this morning snapped me out of my fog.  I am a social butterfly, oh who am I kidding, I'm a social kangaroo (bigger, louder and much bouncier) and with no classes to go to, I lose some of my bounce.

But I'm getting new bounce in the form of NEW SHOES, I have a shoe fitting on Thursday night and I couldn't be more excited in getting fitted for shoes that will help me.  My shoes now, which have many miles on them and may be the reason my ankles and feet hurt after I walk/run, are ready to become the next stage of shoedom at my house---mowing shoes/4-wheeling shoes.  This is the end of the life cycle for my shoes and then they get to go to the Big Shoe Store in the sky.

I'm a mom and I very seldom, more closely to never, buy myself something I want.  I always think the money could be better spent on something one of my children or husband need.  I even come very close to buying something and have actually been standing in line at the cash register and then that "Mom Voice" in the back my head takes me over and I end up putting what I grabbed back, and being a mom I put it back where I found it, not on the shelf next to the register.

BUT THIS TIME, I'M GETTING MY SHOES!  And I'm almost giddy from the anticipation of getting a pair that is going to help me.

I saw this quote and even though I stumble, I really am trying and trying the healthy and right way.  And that is the way I'm sticking with.

I just have to keep trying, even if I have to start over every single day and have to forgive myself for a bad day (like yesterday), but it takes courage and strength to make a change a permanent thing.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

So every day you can either give it 100% or you can just give up and call it quits.   I didn't run, but my dishes are done, my bathroom is cleaner, my bed is (was) made, my family was fed and the kitchen was cleaned up again, and my cat is much happier with a clean litter box.  So my house is a bit cleaner and I did break a sweat doing all of these things.  Were they the thing I had planned to do?  NO.  

Which brings me to my second quote

So God got a grand chuckle yesterday, but he didn't give me anything I couldn't handle and the dishes did need to be washed, the family fed, the bathroom cleaned and the litter box changed.  These were all things that needed to be done, and they got done, did I plan on doing them, NO NOT REALLY, but when I woke up this morning to a clean kitchen and bathroom, I was a little bit satisfied with myself that I did it last night.  So you never know what will happen, you just have to keep the faith and if you are lucky enough as I was this morning you figure out that just because you didn't plan it doesn't mean it was "worth" any less, it was just "different" that what you had originally pictured!

So enjoy the sunshine while it's here everyone.  

Have a PEACHY DAY!

C25K = OMG LMAO

OK I really would like to think I look like an olympic runner when I run, I'm am so sure that I am so far from that image that it makes me laugh out loud. The fact when I look at my feet it seems like at times I am barely bringing them off the ground. But I'm not out there to impress others or give the impression to others that I'm a professional runner, exactly the opposite.  I'm out there to prove TO MYSELF that every step I take, whether it be at a run, jog, walk or crawl is one step to a better ME.  But I do laugh to myself because in my strange and demented mind, I pretend, especially towards that end of my run, that I have people in the stand cheering me on and that there is a big red ribbon strung across the road just begging me to break through it and ready for my photo finish. I even put my hands in the air and do a small victory dance on the way home. See I told you I had a very vivid imagination.
Only downside is since starting by C25K, I notice after I run my ankles get terribly swollen and my achilles tendons are sore.  Luckily I am able to get a shoe fitting next week with my divas at Browns Shoes in Fort Dodge to hopefully get a pair of shoes that will help me in my strife.

Maybe because my poor ankles at this moment have to try to haul a large amount of weight in a fast pace than they are used to that they are rebelling.  So have only been able to do the run every other day, but on the end of Week 1 today and feel pretty good about it even though I get discourage that my body is fighting me on this.  But I just remember as long as I'm not ON THE COUCH, and I'm moving then I am moving forward.

Got an amazing pick me up the other day.  My Fusion/C25K class is doing shoe fittings and we could sign up for two nights.  Me being impatient and desperate for help in getting the correct pair of shoes shoes signed up for the first night and someone from class IM'd me and said that they really wanted me to come to the second fitting because they missed me and wanted to see me!  That was the cherry on my week.  So I'm going to both just to see my girls!  And maybe if my checkbook allows, a second pair of shoes!!!!

As I've said before it only take a small gesture or a kind word to make your day and that made my week, heck made my month.  So thank you Miss Lisa for taking the time out of your day to make me feel amazing and wanted.

So my QUOTE OF THE DAY!

I don't know about you, but I always start a diet, a workout plan, or basically anything on Monday, at least that is my intention, but imagine if I started now.  How many of us save that special perfume for good occasions or only wear that beautiful piece of jewelry one day a year.  I say break open the perfume and wear that jewelry.  Sometimes you have to let go of your fears, and live in the now.  I use the "Will it matter in a week, will it matter in a year?"  Most the time the answer is NO.  You move forward and you give yourself a "Life Pass" because guess what I'm human and make mistakes, but when I learn from my mistake, that makes me a better person.  I am far from perfect, but I'm hopefully not far from being a good person.  I am definitely an "out of the box" person, but that's what makes me the me I am.

So before the gloom of rain decides to water down our weekend, enjoy the beautiful sunshine and remember all those servicepersons who have given their greatest gift so that we can have what we have.

Happy Memorial Weekend!

Day 58-PARTY PREP or BUST

I have decided there are not enough hours in a day.  I apparently need another 8 or 9 hours a day in order to get all my grad party stuff done IN TIME for the party.  Tonight I will be missing Fusion due to the fact that I have a small window of time to get stuff done.  Tomorrow my home is cupcake central and Friday is the big party day.

I have to admit, that people I didn't know a year ago could have such an impact on my world.  When I have a valley day, they are my biggest "you rock girl" supporters.  When I need a distraction or just need a smile, they are willing to give their time and their help. For this I am grateful.

I'm over my "dressing room pity party" and promise not to try on clothes without seeking a friendly second opinion to keep my mind in the "happy" and help distract me from taking that path to "Bodyshameville".  So know I know, for me, shopping for clothes is like weightlifting, you don't do it without a spotter!

I saw this and I had to post it today of all days.  I love the little frog and to be honest, I prefer to stay in the funny.

And I think they are referring to every day knickers, not work out knickers.  

(Ladies who go to Piloxing will totally understand the difference!)

So one of the fantastic ladies that goes to Piloxing Fusion posted my quote of the day and I asked her if she minded if I used it for my blog.  She graciously said yes.  So a HUGE THANK YOU to Jill N. for the quote find.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

So my spark may have been dulled at the beginning of the week, but through all of you who have encouraged me, sent me videos, my beautiful daughter for being herself and to my friends who reminded me that we all have the same insecurities they may differ in levels but all in all, us girls, are always are own worst critics.  Statler and Waldorf were being overly critical in my mind. (In case you didn't know Statler and Waldorf are the old men from "The Muppet Show" that sat in the balcony and critiqued the show.  Here's a pic of them for those that are a bit lax in your Muppet knowledge.

So it's Wednesday and with the help of a glue gun, some duct tape, lots of butter and flour and sugar galore, a little spark will turn into a mighty bonfire and I WILL GET EVERYTHING DONE FOR THIS PARTY!  By Saturday I do believe I will be officially spent and will not be accepting any outside contacts until at least 9:00 a.m.  Because I'm not going to waste a perfectly good Saturday!

As my grandmother always said, "Keep you chin up and level to the ground, that way the world can see your beautiful face!"  I may have to needlepoint that on a pillow so I have a daily reminder that even though I don't "fit" into a certain piece of clothing, that in no way diminishes me.  I have Value! I am a pretty terrific person!  Not to brag, but I think I'm pretty likable!  Perhaps I'm not supposed to fit into a particular box, but maybe, just maybe, I'm supposed to pop out of that box like Jack (get it, Jack in the box, ok, not my best pun!)

So though the sun has decided to nap and I would have killed (ok not killed, but mamed) in order to get another 30 minutes of sleep this morning, There are things to be done and I want my son to have a great party and if I have to drop from exhaustion and be covered in flour and cookie dough then so be it.

Each one of us has VALUE!  We may forget this occasionally, but if you're lucky like me (which if I know you, then you are lucky, because I've got your back), you have people who will take a moment out of their day to remind you of that fact!

So unless you see a Bat Signal in the air, I am off and running!

Happy trails to you!  Until we meet again!  Keep smiling until then!  Who cares about the clouds when we are together!  Just sing a song and think of sunny weather.  Happy trails to you, til we meet again!

Day 57-Tears in a Dressing Room

Ok the weekend went well.  Did prom pics in Eagle Grove and the kids were a hoot.  Got a portion of grad party shopping done and even went to the movies with my son, Spencer, and saw the latest Avengers kick butt.

So I took Monday off in an attempt to get a handle on the final shopping for the grad party this Friday.  I was pretty pumped about having a whole day to get things done, by myself, and I was also stoked because it was "A Funeral For Your Fat" Night at Piloxing Fusion that evening.

I knew it was going to be a happy day when I put on my jean shorts from last summer and they were a bit loose and I didn't have to suck in my gut to button them.  I was like "Hell Yeah, that's right, a lot of sweat and you can put your pants on without the help of industrial pliers) I got the boys off to school and once I filled up with gas in the car I was off.  Bob and Tom were keeping me company and making me smile in my car as they always do.  I decided to hit the mall first.  I had a graduation gift to get and figured while I was in there I would pick up a new top for the grad party.

Gift shopping was a breeze and the salesgirl was a doll.  So after window shopping a few stores I went into one and after explaining to the salesperson that picking out clothes wasn't necessary a strength of mine but I really just wanted a spring/summer top for my son's grad party, she was extremely kind and picked out some things to try on.  They looked pretty on the hanger, and in my mind I pictured how cute I would look in them.  Now I'm not one to show emotion in front of strangers, and I usually can keep it bottled pretty well until I can get somewhere alone but after trying on top after top and combination of tops, my mood went from happy to discouraged then to disappointment.  Not disappointment in the salesgirl, but in myself for letting myself get to the shape I'm in.  Even though I have been doing so much better in the last 57 days than I have in years (exercising regularly, eating so much better and drinking an ocean of water), lets just say at that moment I was not seeing the results of my hard work.  In fact, I got so choked up and upset that before I knew it, I had tears in my eyes and a tightness in my throat.  I tried to calm myself down before coming out of the dressing room (I picked nothing) and trying so quickly to leave the store but the salesgirl caught me to ask me how it was going and with tears down my face (which were flowing uncontrollably)  I just said that maybe today wasn't the best to shop and I barely was able to get that out to her.  She smiled and was very understanding but I had to sit on a bench in the middle of the mall and try to calm myself down.  As I was walking out of the store, my daughter called and was giving me an update of her day and from my tone she asked what was wrong and I said I hate shopping for clothes.  It looks great on the hanger, unfortunately not that great on me.  My daughter exclaimed that I was beautiful and that she would take me shopping and we would find something great.  But while sitting on that bench in the mall, those walking by probably thought I'd gotten a phone call that my cat died.  Let's just say the rest of the day my mind was kicking itself saying how could I let this happen.  Now I really do think that mirrors in dressing rooms are a bit evil but then again maybe they are not really evil but honest.  I didn't put this weight all on in 57 days and it is going to take more than 57 days to take it off, but would it be too much to ask to be able to "see" a bit of difference.

So by the time I finished shopping and got home and loaded everything it was time to go to Fusion. Now I'm not one to share my woes but my friend was having a rotten day  and at that moment all I wanted to do was support her in her not so great day. My little mind trick on myself while standing in a dressing room alone was nothing compared to the day she had.

Sometimes you need an outside source and a little perspective to snap yourself out of your pity party or funk.  That was mine.  My friend was upset and I all wanted to do was be there for her, even if it was only to listen and let her vent.  That made ME feel better.

So I got a wonderful surprise on my desk this morning from my AMAZING daughter. Made me SMILE and tear up at what I great kid I raised!!!!

So here it is another day.  Yesterday was a big hill and valley day, it would say it started out as an adventure but turned into a major challenge.  Maybe Aunt Tilly is coming to visit, or maybe getting ready for a grad party basically by myself (my poor hubby is stuck in Spring Seed world and is just as tired as I am except he has to haul around heavy bags of seed) So Spring planting and graduation do not mix well.  I know I put large expectations upon myself and this is something I'm working on but is one of my greatest challenges.

So this was my Quotes of the Day for Yesterday:

Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation.

EXPECTING is my favorite crime and

DISAPPOINTMENT is always my punishment

But today's quote is giving me hope!

So to stumble into a deep valley of self pity is not something I recommend but it is something I know to well.  But all it took was a friend in need and I snapped out of it.  Those I care for mean more to me than my pity party and for those I care for I am eternally grateful for them.  For without them, I wouldn't be able to see the light and would remain in the dark.

I had to share this, I had to write this down to show my journey.  For when I look back at this post, I WANT to remember how I felt, but most of all I want to show to myself how far I have come and how even the tiniest of steps forward is just that A STEP FORWARD.

Thank you for reading and for keeping me accountable.  May your Tuesday be filled with margaritas and tacos and perhaps a siesta.  Happy Cinco de Mayo!  For today is a day to be thankful for. As my boss and I always say to each other each morning, it's a good day any day you wake up and you are still breathing!

So onward and upward my friends.  "Stay Classy" as Ron Burgundy would say!

DAY 53-Twitterpated! & Happy May Day

Ok, everyone give a BIG SHOUT OUT for today is FRIDAY!  I personally have a billion things to do, get shopping down for grad party, take pics at the Eagle Grove Prom and clean my house and somewhere in there get a work out or walk in and then of course maybe I'll get a few hours of sleep, but let's not get to overscheduled.

Even though I really sincerely do have an overscheduling problem especially for the next week until the grad party on Friday and I have some dear friends that have offered and volunteered to take some of my tasks and do them for me, I'm happy inside.

Now if you know me and even if you don't, I'm not one to be seen on the exterior as anything but happy.  But may not feel on the inside what I show on the outside.  But my heart feels lighter lately and I feel happy and encouraged.

Don't get me wrong, there are times in my day where work may not be all roses and candy and my children, especially my senior, seems to think his mom has no idea what she is talking about and heaven forbid he do what I ask, when I ask.  But maybe I have been twitterpated by the spring.

Do you know what twitterpated is?  It's from Bambi and here's a fun explanation.

As mentioned yesterday, I don't sleep well when my hubby is gone and he unfortunately was gone again last night which in turn means I didn't sleep much if at all, so maybe I'm just in a sleep deprived fog and you are the unlucky recipients of my verbal ranting.  But he will be home today so I guess maybe I am a bit twitterpated.  Pretty cool after 26 years and he still makes my heart flutter. (ok, ok, I know, that enough sweetness for today, you are going to get a toothache and I'm not going to accept any dental bills for reimbursement.)

So looks like some rain, or chances thereof, are in our future. So if I can't get out and walk and with working and running around this weekend I am going to try to practice my planking.  It's my least favorite thing next to burpees and I figure the more I practice, the better I will get at them and them maybe I won't have such a love/hate relationship with them.  I will tackle burpees soon, but today is not that day.

I definitely need to drink more water, when I don't sleep I seem to not drink as much water or anything else for that matter.  So my trusty water jug to the rescue.

Also today is, "Change My Look" Day, or otherwise known as, "Woman, you definitely need a haircut because it looks as if you left your broom in the alley" Day.

Here's what I trying for:

Same cut but a bit longer and with a bit or caramel highlight to lighten it up a little bit.  Doing this afternoon so will see how it goes.  I just want something different and it's just hair my dear friends, I can always do a Brittany Spears and shave it off and start again, then I would really know what my natural hair color was or is.

So my quote of the day is just a warm and fuzzy to get you through the weekend.  But remember to always use your powers for good and not evil (unless it envolves some sort of "50 Shades of Grey" between you and your significant other, then I say GO FOR IT and YOU GO GIRL!)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

This blog has given me hope, encouragement, accountability and it has introduced me to new people.  And with meeting new people, there is always the chance of a new friend or ally because I am what I am, not to go all Popeye on you but you know you are starting new friendships when you talk over shaving our legs, talking about our kids, eagering waiting for the "FINAL REST", or just smiling and laughing over something overly witty I might have said-ok that might be a bit of a stretch for overly witty, would you buy "I can't believe she said that out loud".  Yeah I thought that one was more realistic.)

So did you wave at someone at the stop light yesterday?  I did and I got a huge smile and wave back and I had NO IDEA whom I just waved to but I hoped I brought a little lightness to someone.  I also have a horrible tendency to rock out to my tunes in my vehicle and I was really into Rick Springsfield's "I've Done Everything For You" and was busted by some very nice older ladies going into Pizza Ranch for Ladies Night Out!  They smiled and waved and I do believe they were laughing with me, NOPE pretty sure they were laughing at me, but I'm sure I gave them a story to talk about over dinner.

So enjoy your Friday, do one fun thing this weekend, even if it is only to sleep in an extra 1/2 hour (I'm really going to try this one).

Have a peachy weekend everyone!  And next week is weigh in time for me.  I'm a bit scared and a bit curious as to how the scale will treat me, but hey it's just a number right!

Happy May Day!

COUNTDOWN:

DAYS DOWN:  53

DAYS TO GO:  16