With my 11 months coming up at the end of this week, I know I haven't lost anything. No I haven't stepped on the scale, but I just know that there hasn't been a change. I'm struggling this week. Maybe it's the weather it is effecting my mood, but I am having a down type of week. No, I'm not depressed! Just in a blah type of mood.
Now I'm probably one of those people who is either very very high or very very low, I've never been a down the middle type of girl. Luckily I've been lucky that my highs out number my lows, but I still have them. You can't appreciate your good days without a few bad ones thrown in, right?
I struggle with doing strength exercises. I tried my first yoga class last week and I really liked it but I wonder if anyone else's brain was on full throttle. I tried really hard to RELAX and think about my body and my breathing, but like a squirrel trying to cross a busy highway, my brain was darting from one thing to another. I was looking at the sky and then I saw a cloud, which looked like a tiger which reminded me that I needed to take one of my cats to the vet on Monday, which made me think if I had enough in my checking account to cover the expense, which made me think I really need see how much I have saved so far for Christmas this year, which prompted me to think I need to start purchasing gifts for stockings and on and on and on. While everyone else was lying there probably just breathing and thinking about nothing, I was on a roller coaster ride of things. Now I can relax, but my brain has never really cooperated, with is usually why I listen to music or try to read a book to keep my busy squirrels in my head occupied on one subject.
I realize that 7 pounds isn't that much but it is my goal and if I don't get there it's not the end of the world, but today it is weighing heavy on my brain. I'm not an extreme eater anymore (heck, I have to make myself eat some days) though I used to be an Olympic Emotional Eater. I exercise EVERYDAY, but you know the old saying, "Calories In verses Calories Out". Well it looks like I need to do more calories out but I just can't get up in the morning to add a workout, those last precious moments of sleep seem to mean more to my body than losing the 7 pounds. This is disappointing to me that I'm so close to my goal and as this moment in time, I am having motivational issues. I can encourage someone else with no problem, but this week I'm having a small set back. The good thing is I will probably snap out of it, maybe tomorrow, maybe this afternoon, heck maybe in an hour, but right now, I would be very happy to snuggle under the covers and sleep in a dark cool room like a vampire for a while.
Like the Carpenters sing, Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. Not necessarily true in my case, I love rain, and we need rain. Maybe I'm on the brink of an emotional breakdown or breakthrough. I'm hoping for the break through, more therapeutic and easier on the mascara than a break down.
So I'm a list maker, even though 80% of the time when I make a grocery list, I forget on the counter before I leave, but I have decided to make a list of what I AM going to do for the 5 weeks. A little research and maybe a call to my doc for some guidance may help boost my one year goal into reality.
I'm struggling internally with is my norm, but trying very hard to stay out of my head and look beyond what is in front of me but look at the goal the is ahead.
So there you go, I'm human and this week I'm struggling to get beyond myself. Beyond my thoughts and beyond my outside influences to reboot my mind back to that happy place that I enjoy being in. I know this is my struggle and only I can control, alt, delete it back into a restart. So that is my goal today is to hit the control, alt, delete buttons on my world and reboot, restart and take my brain from blah to UnBlahleivable!!! (ok not my best pun, but you get the picture).
11 months is my next blog next week. What will the scale bring???? This is once again another of life's mysteries but mysteries are never over till the very last page!!! So I'll work on my mood, you work on having a peachy rest of your week and perhaps when we meet again, the sun will be shining and my zip a dee doo dah will be back in full force.
So onward and upward my friends.
A small insight to the daily trails and tribulations of weight loss, family, friends and just life in general told with a bit of humor.
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