January 2017-Ending Recap

Tally:

Months without soda:  6

Months without pasta, bread, potatoes:  4 

Days a week workout:  5 to 6 days at least 30 minutes each day

Pounds lost:  64

So I did a quick jump on the scale and I'm down to 62 lbs lost, but it has been a slow process lately.  I have to admit, my heart hasn't been in it as much the last week or so.  Maybe it's a weather thing, but snow usually revitalizes me.  But I think I need people stimulation also.  I don't count work because my main objective is to do my job and my second one is to try to stay out of any drama.  Pretty easy to do since I refer to my office as "The Cave" (it's way in the back of the building).  

But there are exciting things on the horizon.  Zumba starts this Sunday and I'm sooooo excited to see all my Zumba Divas and do some cardio that makes me smile and sweat!  If you want to come, it starts on Sunday, January 29th at 4 pm in the basement at North Central Cooperative here in Clarion. Miriam is the best instructor and I always leaving smiling.  Have already signed up for one 5k but am looking for more.

I've added more treadmill to my weekly routine, and have gotten up to 4 minutes of running with a 2 minute break in between for 2.5 miles, but I've noticed my knees are a bit sore the next day, so maybe need to go slower in order to avoid injury later.

With all this snow, (I believe we got around 10 inches or so), I so desperately want to make cinnamon rolls and large batches of chicken and noodles on mashed potatoes and just jump in and eat my way out.  Well, guess what, that isn't an option anymore.  Well it is an option, just not one I'm going to take.  So now what?

Trying to find something to make each night is a challenge.  Luckily there are only 3 of us for supper and my hubby and son are so great, they pretty much are happy to make their own if  we really can't decide on something together.  

I'm have difficulty finding food choices that I like.  I like chicken but when you have it as often as I do, I'm afraid I might start laying eggs soon.  And I eat enough vegetables that I get to the point that if I see any more spinach, I'm going to turn into Popeye the Sailor Man.

So eating healthy sounds great.  It's the actual concept of doing it that makes it difficult.  Ever think about making a meal without potatoes, rice, bread, and pasta.  Try doing it now!  It's not so hard for the first few weeks, but think about it.  After you have so many variations of chicken (meat)  and vegetables, and you have stalked your pinterest boards searching for something different and tasty (by the way, not all those recipes are gems for the keeping, some were so bland, we just had scrambled eggs and bacon in order to get the lack of taste out of our mouths).

So here is the challenge I face.  And for those nay sayers, I use tons of different spices and seasonings in order to "spice" up the flavor quota on my meals.  I scour the internet for new recipe ideas or even just a suggestion of something different.  Each night is an adventure and a surprise as to what we end up eating for supper.  Many a night I make the boys a meal for them, but when it some to me, I'm usually stumped.  Maybe I'm getting bored and want something new.

So there is my speed bump in this journey.  But not one that is going to stop my journey.

It's getting to be that time of the day and my brain is asking me, "What's for Supper?"  I think I'll tell my brain is the men's choice tonight!  And if she doesn't like it, she can make her chicken and salad and sit in the corner and be quiet!

Motivation-The general Desire or willingness of someone to do something

Motivation is a very long word.  I call them $20 words.  But the definition of motivation is the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

With the ice blanketing across our fine state and with the cold wind and cancelling of schools and work, which somehow triggers "Snow Day" in my head, which also triggers off my "motivation button".  Now I'm not dissing that benefits of a day of leisure, a day filled with naps and quiet and movies and popcorn.  A day when you shower at 3 pm and change into a clean pair of pajamas.  Where work clothes get a day off and your brain get to reset from your busy world. I'm all for these things.

Unfortunately, it does play havoc on my motivation.  I'm usually pretty positive and gung ho on going to work out and eating what I'm supposed to.  But old habits are hard to squash.  Plus the fact there is a two layer german chocolate cake sitting in my fridge with a gallon of vanilla ice cream in the freezer constantly screaming my name while I try with all my will power not to slice a piece off and consider it a small fall off the wagon.  Plus we are stranded together in the house, travel not suggested, ice covering everything and I'm trying not to re-enact a scene from Misery and I'm about to "hammer" through that cake like Kathy Bates did to James Caan's ankles.

Did I eat the cake?  NO.  Did I desperately want to and even find myself pulling the cake container onto the counter and ALMOST sneaking a bite?  YES.

I put small quotes on my Pinterest board to help me along and I have this one on my fridge:

It would have been EASY to eat the cake, who would have known.  Not like I'm going to post a pic of my mug with frosting on it for all to see.  But the fact was that "I" would know.  I put on my workout clothes, not with zealous or excitement, but I did put them on, laced up my sneakers and grabbed my keys and headed out the door to the gym.  My brain was not completely 100% with me on this venture.  That little voice in the back of my mind was shouting, "What the H E double hockey sticks are you doing?  It's cold out here and slippery and we will probably fall down and break our necks and you want to go to the gym when there is a perfectly comfy couch with snuggling soft blankets, a remote control to yourself and CAKE back home?
But luckily there was a tiny tiny voice whispering to me, "You have worked to hard to go back!  You can do this!  Remember you how you feel after you work out!  There will always be cake!"
Now that small voice (believe me, she wasn't loud and in my face, just calm and determined) repeated what I say to my friends but also gave me hope of CAKE in the future.  (She knows how to get me motivated).

Motivation is a struggle for me and perhaps others.  Sometimes it takes just that fork in the road, mine was eat the cake and sit on the couch OR put on my workout gear and walk out the door to the gym.  So far, I think I'm made the right choice but I know I there will come a day when I will pick cake and couch over sneakers and sweat!  But guess what, today was not that day.

I love these two quotes because one is very to the point and the other one just made me smile.

So I lace up my sneakers after work, put on my workout clothes, and put my happy butt into my car and drive to the gym.  I get on the elliptical machine and then I go and do weight training next to not so great smelling guys who have muscles and apparently a shortage of deodorant, or maybe they just workout so hard that their deodorant just gives out.  Needless to say, I go, motivation be high or be low, I have that tiny little voice that says, "You are worth it!  You deserve to take this time for you!  Don't be a quitter! Workout today and you can have tacos for supper!  (What can I say, my little voice knows me too well)

No Magic Pill

Ever hear the saying:

Losing weight is Hard

Being fat is Hard.

Pick your Hard!

That's the mentality I had to come too. After my first post and having so much feedback and an in depth discussion with my bestie on the elliptical machine tonight (a phrase I never thought I would utter out loud), I need to state that I don't have the magic pill to lose weight. If I did I would set up shop and become the next contestant on Shark Tank, and no prescription needed, but no I don't have a magic pill.  I got the official PhD speech that I was Obese (ok let's be real, I was fat, obese makes it sound like you are shaped like an oreo cookie, ok now I'll dream of oreos tonight) and that was the reason my knees were bad. Plus knee surgery scared the jelly beans out of me.
The doctor said this is your only option: lose the weight. Well I don't need an ACME anvil to land on my head as the roadrunner and coyote just stare and scratch their heads.
I struggle mentally every day, not all day, I have my moments and daydreams of cheesecake and cupcakes and well just cake. My brain imagines the scene from Willy Wonka where they can eat everything in the room. Jelly balls, huge gummy bears, tea cups and I'm Augustus Gloop touching the sacred chocolate river (the only one mixed by waterfall by the way) and scooping it quickly into my mouth. Warm and chocolaty and I wake myself up just when I get stuck in the tube before the Oompa Lompas sing a song of my gluttony and demise
I picked my hard. I work out 6 days a week. Do I WANT to every day? Nope, nada! But I whine in my head, text my bestie saying I'm on my way and tell my son we ARE going. The faster I get there the sooner I'm done. Is is HARD? Heck yes, especially if it's icy or snowy and I'd rather snuggle with a blanket and a movie than do go get sweaty and go out into the below zero cold.
I choose to follow my instructions to the letter. Portion control, healthy food, no junk. Exercise. Protein, vegetables and fruit. But do I crave a cheeseburger the size of my head! All the time and I've noticed I watch ALOT of the Food Channel.  I like seeing food I don't eat, guess I live vicariously through those people on the screen shoveling in gooey, sumptuous delights. Carnival Eats is my new addiction   and guess what? I can binge watch the shows and no calories and I don't feel like I have to go to the gym after I watch it.
Remember 5th grade health, pretty basic stuff! Eat well, exercise and you will grow strong and healthy! Who knew that stuff was true!! They forget to tell you about stress, peer pressure,  pregnancy,  motherhood, or adulthood for that matter. Life is not a merry go round, nice and steady while you sit and watch the world go by. It's a Rollercoaster through a tiltawhirl while spinning in circles trying not to vomit on your shoes all while trying to balance your checkbook. What makes it easier is family and friends willing to hold back your hair and help you get up when you stumble. But the funny thing is I like Rollercoasters and tiltawhirls and spinning in circles, I don't balance my checkbook very well but I am getting a handle on this .
So I would say once I got OUT of my own  head, I was limitless in what I can do. Need a workout buddy, call me! Need someone to talk you away from that piece of chocolate cake,  call me. Need someone to cry to because you ate the whole cake and now you feel low or need some pepto,  call me. I've been there but think my biggest help has been a friend (Amanda you are my reason to go to gym on those days i wanna say no) who loves and supports me with no judging, listens and encourages me. Do you need a friend like that, I'm here and only a text or call away. I'm serious. Can't promise that my dirty mind won't corrupt you but I do promise you will smile. I can always use another friend, if you need one, I have references, ignore the stories of streaking and skinny dipping that was in my youth. Ok maybe it was last fall but I WAS younger then than I am now. See you're smiling aren't you! Be well my friends! !

POUNDS LOST TO 01/08/2017:   62 POUNDS

The BEGINNING OF MY JOURNEY BACKGROUND

Starting July 2016, I finally broke down and saw a doctor about my knees. Ok, I'm no spring chicken and never claimed to be.  But when my knees decided to be in constant pain, I gave up and finally got an appointment with a doctor.  I suspected he was going to tell me that I need to lose weight, but what he told me left me in a daze for about 3 weeks.

Seems I have arthritis in both knees and due to my weight, unless I lose it and quick,  I will have to have knee surgery in 4 years and according to him I am way to young to be having knee surgery, plus if I have it that early I am almost guaranteed I will have more than one throughout my life.

He also said in a nice way, that I was FAT! (I believe he used the word obese and I remember hearing pig noises in my head and felt tears welling in my eyes, luckily the noises were an illusion, the tears not so much) No exactly roses and chocolate!
Within minutes, I was scheduled to go to the informational meeting that night.  Lucky me it was open enough to have me go.  I didn't go with anyone, I was still processing.  Weight loss is a personal journey and seems to be judge by many even though they don't have to live in your body and go through your day to understand the struggles you have to go through. So after the meeting I made my appointments to go forward to lose this weight.

So on 08/02/16, I've saw my family physician and scheduled my physical and mammogram.  I've had to see a therapist as it is part of the program. Right now there are only 4 people who know I am doing this and that is ok by me.

In a way, I was very scared about the idea, that I might fail.  I basically was so far in my own thoughts that I do believe I cleared out some cobwebs that haven't been touched back there since 1985.  But these 4 people have helped me and supported me in general and to them I will be forever grateful.

I never realized how overweight I was until I started looking back at pictures I was in.  The image in my mind and the images I was looking at were not the same.  Guess having a bathroom with a mirror that only goes to your waist hides more than I thought.  Since high school I've never been the "skinny" girl.  I've always had curves and I not a binge eater either.  I'm active but I guess my body isn't cooperating because I've tried everything.

I've done Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, 21 Day Fix, Low Carb, Low calorie, 21 Day Beach Body, Advocare.  I've even practically starved myself to the point of passing out.  I've followed every plan and every fad that I thought would be the next thing to break through and help me lose the weight, but unfortunately, I would lose about 20 pounds and then I would stall and to be honest, once you hit a plateau, I unfortunately think I lost faith and gave up.

Am I scared?  YES!  Do I think this is the best thing for me to do?  YES!  Does that make it less scary? Kind of.  And my doctors say this works differently for everyone, I just have to follow what I'm supposed to do and hope for the best.  But the key to it is that "I" have to do it.  No one else can make me better but me.

I'm doing this blog to have somewhere to put my feelings.  Wasn't  sure if I would ever post for the PUBLIC to see, but have gotten so many inquiries as to what I do on a day to day basis, I decided to resurrect my blog.

So I decided to post for all to read.  Some of you have been sweet and supportive, when I've seen you in person, you ASK me how I am and encourage me in person.  Those that I thought would ask me, have never directly asked me and those that I never thought would be interested have been my biggest supporters.  So I guess you never know cares about your well being until you do something big that can be seen (like weight loss) and you get the reaction.
I was disappointed that certain individuals have never acknowledge what I'm doing directly to me, but I have to remember I'm doing this for me not for them.  I'm a people pleaser and it has always been hard for me to do things for ME.  But hey, either that or knee surgeries throughout my life, guess what, I put me at the top of the list ASAP. (PS My hubby seconded the notion of me doing something for myself, he's the best)
So follow me if you wish, but know this is not easy.  And it's not a diet, it's a complete life change.  Which is hard and messy and I struggle, I deflect with humor, I vent with sarcasm, and there are days that I'm happy and there are days that I struggle, so I'm kind of a bi-polar weight loser!!! ha ha
So stay tuned and see what happens.  I'll be brave one day to post pics, but until then, I'll let you know what I'm doing and if that helps you and if you read this and it just makes you smile and feel like you aren't alone in your journey then that is a BONUS!

WEIGHT LOSS SINCE SEPTEMBER 2016 :  62 POUNDS

Down 60 Pounds

As of 01/08/2017 I am down 62 pounds from September 19, 2016.  I really wasn't expecting it to be so but just stepped on the scale and there it was!
Just have to keep on my path and work very hard not to deviate, but it gets harder the more time goes on.  I eat the same things, only because I make myself not eat the "bad things".
I keep working out 5 to 6 times a week and that seems to be helping also, just have to change it up more and do more weight lifting as alot of my exercise involved the lower half of my body.

2017-Day 1

Well I'm down 58 pounds since September.  I try hard to work out 5/6 times a week. It is getting harder to keep on the same food regimen but every hill is easier to climb if I don't make it into a mountain.
Glad u did what I did but struggle some days. But looking forward to March which is my 6 month anniversary. Excited to see where I am then.