So I have one more week before the big 9 month milestone (hard to believe it's been 9 months) After getting back from Arizona and with concession stand and catching up at work, I haven't been as dedicated to my routine as I should. Sitting in a box in 90 degree weather with no breeze running a popcorn popper is like sitting in a sweat lodge waiting for the hallucinations to come about to find what my spirit animal should be, (I've decided it should be a penguin! Cause I really like penguins plus they like to play in the snow and always look like they are dressed up to go somewhere fancy).
I've thought long and hard on this and I believe that there are stages I go through each day regarding my workout. This thought process is a sure fire mission in mental self control or mental unbalance depending on your point of view, but what's funny is I go through all five stages in about a 10 minute period. I'm a bit loony but efficient apparently. These are my 5 stages of working out:
1 - DENIAL
I think the scale must be off. I must be retaining water. Is it that time of the month?
2 - ANGER
Why can't I be like those girls that eat and eat and never gain weight! I look at a picture of a cake and I gain 5 pounds. Why does it seem so easy for everyone else?
3 - BARGAINING
If I don't work out tonight, I will just work twice as hard tomorrow or I will eat this now and will work out more to balance out what I ate. (which we all know if a big fat lie, but we are willing to believe that we wouldn't lie to ourselves like that, right?)
4 - DEPRESSION
"I should have worked out. Why didn't I just go? I've failed again! I'm eating a cheesecake"
5 - ACCEPTANCE
Put your shoes on because YOU deserve to be the best YOU possible! Only YOU can do this. When you find your fairy god mother you can skip the workout but until then get your happy behind to the gym and get it done!
Now the 5 stages I go through are similar in some ways to the 5 stages of grief. Cause heaven knows I feel grief when I don't work out and I step on the scale and the number hasn't moved. I have been lucky enough that the number hasn't gone up, that might require an oxygen tank and mask and perhaps a 24 hours psychiatrist handy for the bloody aftermath that I am sure would follow seeing the number climb rather than decline! Perhaps this is why my cats stand at the door of the bathroom when I step on the scale because they sense that there may be a disturbance in the universe about to happen and animals can sense those kinds of things ahead of time.
I get many kudos and well wishes from people on my journey on how well I'm doing. And I cherish every single ounce of encouragement I get, but there are days where I want to tell them "Thank you but today is hard, like I want to binge eat a big greasy cheeseburger on a sesame seed bun with a large order of french fries and a snickers bar to the point of being miserable. Today feels like I am having to WORK at this. I already have 2 jobs, and this one doesn't add any value to my checkbook.. I'm having a moment and WANT to just throw in the towel and give in and do whatever I want and have whatever I want!" But that rant of mine is a passing thought and the person smiling at me and giving me their wonderful gift of encouragement doesn't need to hear I'm having a moment of weakness. They are giving me their time and positivity, and sometimes that is enough to smack me out of my funk of the moment. Honestly, it usually snaps me back into my reality and changes my perspective rather quickly. In fact it happened last night. I went to the gym, was getting ready to get on the elliptical and was only going to do the bare minimum. But a sweet woman, whom goes to my church, and works out around the same time I do every day, came over and told me how great I looked and I should be so proud of how far I've come. After talking a few minutes with her, I felt like she helped me to empty my pity bucket and fill my "I CAN DO THIS" bucket. She didn't have to tell me, but she took time out of her workout to just tell me, "Good Job!" My mental state made a complete 180 and I was ready to put all my effort into my workout. I really think if I hadn't spoke to her I would have done my workout but not to the extreme I ended with. I struggle like everyone else, but I try, I really try to stay in the positive, but I do have my moments of weakness, but it's funny how I always seem to run into someone who's read my blog or hasn't seen me in a while and the look of surprise and happiness that they give me is better than any drug on the market. She didn't know I was having a stressful day and just wanted to "get my workout over with", she just wanted to tell me that it encouraged her to see my hard work and that she wanted me to know that she noticed.
So never underestimate the power of a kind word and a smile.
So next week is the big 9 month update. Hopefully there will be a change from my 8 month stats, only time will tell.
So encourage those around you. A smile or a small word of encouragement may only be a little thing to you but may be life changing to the person that receives it.
So hydrate my Iowa friends who are out and about in this humid and hot weather the next few days.
Have a peachy week my friends.
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